Mayb..Mayb..

This few days..I was thinking about the time i spent with my friends and i just realise what a sorry sate i m in...Everytime i send message to chi wei,she will surely reply the message with charmaine saying this and that..Hu cares what she says?Who i m smsing is u not her...True frens are always beside you..It must be a load of crap..or tt you are not even my friend...Frens stand by each other when they are in trouble...I m always standing by u but u chose not to tell me so what can i do?But why when i m in trouble you are always not there for me?You are always busy or with charmaine..If things turn out liddat i rather be with yiling dey all although they are sometimes a bit talkative..They welcome ppl dey dun make u feel taht u r invisible..Why when u all want to tell someone smth i am always the last to noe?Am i reali a extra or what?And it doesn't even matter that i m there for u anot?
Everytime i have troubles i want to tell u but u were always busy..Even if you are there you would just nod your head and continuing saying your troubles to me and hoping taht i will console u.Then waht about me?Is it taht i don't need anyone to console?I feel so extra everytime i just dun understand..Does the problem lies with me or what?Den u all always say about what a great time u all have at each other houses..I know taht you all are having a great time..But u all shld make me feel better mar..I don't live near u and i can't be with u all at all times and when i m..U all keep saying what u all did together..Sometimes i reali feel like crying..I was thinking taht maybe it was my fault but i reali tried to change but no matter what i did it was no use at all..And y does charmaine always have to break my relationship with another friend?For example tt time me and sharine were great frens den she came in between and made me feel extra so i went to find u..But she like played with sharine and feel tired of playing with her so she come in between me and u..Y does she always want to make me feel so extra?You all dun like me to keep spending time with yiling dey all but u all forced me to..I had no choice as i seem so extra with you all so i have to go and find them..Dey treat me beta..They help me when i m in trouble..I have evidence..Like tt time i 4got to tell the pupils what to brong for their home econs..U all didn't help me at all..And u all just continue toking about other tings..Ya maybe u duno how to help and instead of sharing my troubles u all continue to say about your troubles hoping tt i will think tt u all are so poor and shoul console u...But when i go and find yiling dey all..they immediately console me and end their talk and help me think of A idea..Ya..Maybe i made the wrong choice..of FRENS...