Sunday, August 31, 2008

ICE CREAM ! :D ICEKIMO ^^

Went out today for lunch with my family ! Supposed to " celebrate " my dad's birthday which is like two more weeks from now ?

After lunch went to eskimo to have icecream ! :D


Ordered large ice cube . Which means we get to choose 8 different types of ice cream with 5 different toppings . Being a chocolate lover, I chose a lot of chocolate types . Some of them are Belgium chocolate, Snickers, Blueberry cheese, Tiramisu and Bailey.






Cookies and cream was great . Blueberry cheese too . Not to forget TIRAMISU ! :DD

After eating I was taking photo of its surroundings . I feel that its really a great place to be in enjoying your icecream . The walls had pictures of cute cartoons and the colours used were light and refreshing . The design made it feel really cozy .



THE PENGUIN! SO CUTE (: Was looking at it all the time when I was enjoying my icecream .



The poster on the wall .

Would recommend Icekimo to everyone :D Great place to have ice-cream ! :DD

Okay . Got to go . Enjoy your holidays people :D

a sign of weakness ..

Tears .
To me, they are a sign of weakness .
Lately, all it takes is just one word or a statement. I can't believe it myself . In the past, even if I'm watching movies that really touches your heart, none of these would get out . Now, over minor things its easily out .
I don't understand myself . I guess its more difficult to understand yourself than others . You've been yourself for the past 17 years yet what do you really know about yourself except your own likes and dislikes ?
Nothing I guess .
I don't even know my talents and I doubt I even have them .

My temper has been really short . Or should I say I have been becoming more emotional . And I hate it . I don't really know what has caused this change or maybe its me who is running away from it . Away from the source when deep inside I know what is causing this .

you mean a lot to me . too much till it is more than myself . even a single word from you could make me feel instant sadness or evolve into instant pain . or maybe its me who is becoming weak and not being able to tolerate anything now . so easily I can tear . so weak . so helpless .
i have no idea why i've been saying all those hurtful comments that hurt myself more than you . once it gets out i regret immediately but i know its too late .
many times i wish you would just care more for me . talk to me more and don't keep yourself away from me . i wonder if you've noticed that by building a barrier around yourself, it makes me feel that i'm still not good enough for you .

or maybe i would never be good enough for you ..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------





Another video from teacher's day performance ..

Saturday, August 30, 2008

five different ways to express your love (:

I have to admit that I might have already guessed my accepting love language long ago . Oh wait . Let me start from the beginning .

I just bought this book today when I was out with jas . I guess most of the people have heard this book before and 4 million copies of it have already been sold . The title of this book is " The Five Love Languages " .

Have you ever wondered why that deep in your heart you know that your boy/girl friend loves you but somehow, you just can't feel their love at all ? Or sometimes you have been trying so hard to love them yet they complain that you do not care about them at all ?

This question has been hovering around me for a few months or weeks at least . I'm wondering everyday why I've been questioning myself " Does he even love me ? " or " Why can't he even feel how much I care about him ? " It was then when I came across this book . Finally something that can save me from all the mental torment .

In this book, it describes and gives details on each of the five love languages being quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, act of service and physical touch . After reading I realised that I've already kind of guessed my accepting love language long ago . And that is " acts of service " .

Take for example, I feel really happy when someone opens the door for me or keep the door open for me by holding on to it and making sure it doesn't slam on my face . And I felt really touched when I saw my friend buying a cup of hot milo for another friend because she was feeling really cold .

I have always felt that actions speak louder than words . Although I don't look like I'm even observant, I actually notices even the minor things normally . Every action that everyone makes actually sends a message . And the point is even if you say for example " Your cooking is really good " and then when the person cooks, you don't even bother to try his or her cooking . This is completely contradictory to your words earlier . Even though you might not get to taste it because you are not free, to a person who reads behavior, he or she would have interpreted that her cooking is bad hence you would not want to taste it .

I guess my love language ain't really " acts of service " but instead behavior and actions . If you love someone, you would care for them automatically . I guess its the same case with mine . You can praise me like crazy, every day, every hour and every second but the compliment would not have any effect on me at all . Its the action that counts I guess .

Okay . Enough with this . I shall continue reading the book and identify each and every love language that people around me speaks and accepts . esp you =/

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today woke up really early to meet jia ying at sembawang mrt station . We were going to have burger King breakfast and then study in the library . Was late so in the end couldn't find empty seats in the library . Oh well . We settled down in Mos Burger instead . Spent a long time there and the staff there were quite irritated by our presence =X

After that went shopping for shoes ! Couldn't find any nice ones . Bought a halter neck at pasar malam . Finally found one that is plain and has no WEIRD drawings on it . I'm going to start to love pasar malam now . Last time I would only buy wrapping papers there . I guess the evolution of it has caused many people to be more attracted to it . The variety of stuff and all .

Then went to meet jas at bishan . Ate our favourite spaghetti again . We can eat this every week without getting sick of it . Shared with her a chocolate muffin that my mum got from Malaysia . It was from Gardenia . Not sure why is it not sold in Singapore but its really good . And the thing is it only cost RM 1.50 for two . So one in Singapore dollars is only 30 plus cents . Which is horrifyingly cheap .

Tuition was okay I guess . We got the teacher into treating us Haagen Das before next lesson . He was introducing it to us because he was proud of his nation's product . Yupp . He's from Italy and he is proud of it . He wanted us to change our preference of StarBucks to Haagen Das instead . He introduced us illy coffee and all . He gave us a vague description about the desert . Ice-cream submerged in coffee . Hope it tastes nice though I don't like coffee . But judging the way he describes it, it may turn out to one of my addiction .

Oh yeahs . Pictures . Thanks Jas for reminding me . Slipped off my mind .

During tuition, I was going crazy . Turned jas into the main lead of Fated To Love You drama serial . I wrote on post its and pasted it all over her . On her hair and all .







Oh yeahs . When I was out with jiaying, we reminisce about our sec one and two times . When we didn't realised how childish we were and our absurd fashion sense . It was really hilarious . Shouldn't blogged about what we did here . Would TARNISH our reputation immediately . And I wouldn't want my clique to be killing me here . But I shall talk a little bit about it . Not that much to kill us including me . During the sec one days, we did crazy stuff like performing for chinese new year and literature performance . I guess the worst part was that we actually danced for the literature piece and at the end of it, Chiwei and Yvonne came out exchanging words .

Cw : Heys . How was the play related to literature ?
Yvonne : Both are different forms of art .

I can't really remember who said what but this was the gist of it . I'm really happy that other than our clique, nobody remembers it . And I swear I would never do anything that bizzare anymore . What were we thinking that time ! Craziness !

Okay next . Time for the videos ! Some of them are not up yet . Still uploading . Kind of exxagerating but the file is really HUGE . Hence ..

Here it is :D



This one is performed by our student council . Great vocals there ! Talented student council ! :D



A guy performing the song " Wei Ni Xie Shi " by kenji . Can't say that his singing is great but its a good effort :D

There are 5 more videos .. Shall show them next time because they are still uploading :D

Okay . Thats all for now . Time to watch my animes ! :P

OH WAIT . Last thing . I've just heard the japanese songs sang by fahrenheit . Sorry to offend . Ain't worth the money to buy it . Their pronunciation is completely off . When I first listened to it I thought they were singing in thai instead . If you want nice japanese songs sang by chinese singers . I think that Crystal Liu Yi Fei is much better than this . And her vocals is so much better compared to them . They can act and they look good . That of course is obvious . But their singing .. * switches back to their shows instead *

you dont speak the love language that i accept
neither do i speak the love language that you accept .
but im making effort to . and i hope you will too ..

Friday, August 29, 2008

HAPPY TEACHER's DAY :D

The five languages of apology.
There are five different ways people express their apologies .

1. Expressing Regret
It is an admission of guilt and shame for causing pain to another person. A simple “I’m sorry” is all they look for. There is no need for explanation or “pay back” provided the apology has truly come from the heart.
There's no need for excuses or attempt to deflect blame. Above all, it takes ownership of the wrong. For that reason, it is understood as a sincere commitment to repair and rebuild the relationship.
The “Expressing Regret” Apology Language speaks most clearly when the person offering the apology reflects sincerity not only verbally, but also through body language. Unflinching eye contact and a gentle, but firm touch are two ways that body language can underscore sincerity.

2.Accepting Responsibility
It is very difficult for some people to admit that they’re wrong. It makes them doubt their self-worth, and no one likes to be portrayed as a failure. However, as adults, we must all admit that we are sinners and that we will make mistakes. We are going to make poor decisions that hurt our mates, and we are going to have to admit that we were wrong. We have to accept responsibility for our own failures.
For many individuals, all they want is to hear the words, “I am wrong.” If the apology neglects accepting responsibility for their actions, many partners will not feel as though the apology was meaningful and sincere. Many partners need to learn how to overcome their ego, the desire to not be viewed as a failure, and simply admit that their actions were wrong. For a mate who speaks this apology language, if an apology does not admit fault, it is not worth hearing. Being sincere in your apology means allowing yourself to be weak, and admitting that you make mistakes. Though this may be hard to do for some people, it makes a world of a difference to your partner who speaks this language.

3. Make Restitution
In our society, many people believe that wrong acts demand justice. The one who commits the crime should pay for their wrongdoing. A mate who speaks this love language feels the same way towards apologies. They believe that in order to be sincere, the person who is apologizing should justify their actions. The mate who’s been hurt simply wants to hear that their mate still loves them.

There are many effective ways to demonstrate sincerity in an apology. Each mate must learn the other’s love language in order to complete the act of restitution. Though some mates may feel a though all is forgotten with a bouquet of flowers, that may not necessarily work for all mates. Every mate should uncover what their partner’s main love language is (Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts) and use that specific language in order to make restitutions in the most effective way.

For a mate whose primary apology language is making restitutions, no matter how often you say “I’m sorry”, or “I was wrong”, your mate will never find the apology sincere. You must show strong efforts for making amends. A genuine apology will be accompanied by the assurance that you still love your mate and have a desire to right the wrong-doings committed.

4. Genuinely Repent
For some individuals, repentance is the convincing factor in an apology. Some mates will doubt the sincerity of an apology if it is not accompanied by their partner’s desire to modify their behavior to avoid the situation in the future.

It’s important to remember that all true repentance begins in the heart. A mate must feel poorly for hurting their loved one, and rely on God’s help in order to truly change. Admitting you are wrong creates vulnerability. It allows your mate to get a glimpse of your heart. The glimpse of true self is assurance that the apology was sincere.

One important aspect of genuinely repenting is verbalizing your desire to change. Your mate cannot read your mind. Though you may be trying to change inside, if you do not verbalize your desire to change to your mate, most likely they will still be hurt.

Many people have problems with repenting when they do not feel as though their actions were morally wrong. However, in a healthy relationship, we often make changes that have nothing to do with morality and everything to do with building a harmonious marriage.

It is also important to make a dedicated plan for change. Often apologies involving repentance fail because the person never set up steps of action to help ensure success. A person must first set goals for their change. After you create realistic goals, then you can start implementing a plan to change. Taking baby steps towards repentance instead of insisting on changing all at once will increase your chances of successfully changing your ways.

It is important to remember that change is hard. Constructive change does not mean we will immediately be successful. There will be highs and lows on the road to change. You must remember that with God’s help, anyone can change their ways if they are truly and genuinely ready to repent.

5. Request Forgiveness
In some relationships, a mate wants to hear their partner physically ask for forgiveness. They want assurance that their mate recognizes the need for forgiveness. By asking forgiveness for their actions, a partner is really asking their mate to still love them. Requesting forgiveness assures your mate that you want to see the relationship fully restored. It also proves to your mate that you are sincerely sorry for what you’ve done. It shows that you realize you’ve done something wrong. Requesting forgiveness also shows that you are willing to put the future of the relationship in the hands of the offended mate. You are leaving the final decision up to your partner – to forgive or not forgive.

Requesting forgiveness is not easy. It often leaves one vulnerable to the fear of rejection. Along with the fear of rejection is the fear of failing. Many people have a hard time seeking forgiveness because it means admitting that you have failed. The only way to overcome this fear is to recognize that it is very common amongst mankind. The commonality makes it okay to be a failure. It allows a stubborn mate to apologize to their partner and become a healthy individual.

Ultimately, it’s important to remember that there is a difference between asking for forgiveness and DEMANDING forgiveness. When we demand forgiveness, we tend to forget the nature of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a choice the offended party is supposed to make. Demanding forgiveness takes away the sincerity of asking for it.

Remember not to treat forgiveness lightly. It is something to be cherished and appreciated. The act of forgiveness is hard on both ends – for the person who’s asking and for the person who’s accepting.

credits : http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn_apology.html

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

One word. Cool. I guess I'm something of each. Let me read it over again and try to identify which aplology language I have and of course the apology language I accept. But I doubt I can figure it out. Expressing Regret is definintely my aplology language. Every time I do something wrong I would seriously regret it and then apologize . Guess some people are already sick of it . Some of my friends would start saying " haiyo. also not your fault . why apologizing over it ?" But all I want to say is that when I apologize I really mean it . The same with thank you(s) . I would never be forced into saying something I don't want to because I don't see the purpose .

The apology language I accept should be somewhere between .. Genuinely repenting and accepting responsibility . Sincerity should always be present in a apology . If not there is no point . I would easily feel better when someone realises that he or she is wrong and therefore apologizes to me for it . There's no need to the extent of buying gifts and all . I think thats a little absurd . But oh well ..

Guess I might buy this book . Actually I saw it in Popular Bookstore the other day, I mean yesterday when I was accompanying dar to buy teacher day gifts . Its really cool to understand how the human brain works isn't it ? How people look the same on the surface when they are actually all different in the inside even if its just a little .

I guess it would really be cool to know everyone's apology language :D

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- TODAY


Today is Teacher's Day .
Oh no .
I meant that today is teacher's day celebrations .
The actual teacher's day is on 1st september which is next monday . I was really angry in the morning . Shouldn't elaborate on why . People who saw me in the morning should know what happened .

Bought two stalks of flower from linglan . Intended to give them to my secondary school teachers . Saw what weiqin prepared for mr phang as teacher's day gift from the class . Creative . Very creative :D Bet he's touched and reading the messages each of us have written now . Or maybe he had already finished reading it . I'm sure he would be laughing at mine because on the card I wrote,

" According to hwee's law of simplicity, the meaningful a teacher's day message is inversely proportional to the amount of words on the card ..

hence, HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY ! "

Yupp . Thats all I wrote . Kind of lame but .. hahas :P

Was trying to complete our group's written report . Have to say it finally looks good . Not as shabby as before anymore . Couldn't finish it in time so in the end had to skip physics lecture for it . Lucky they were only watching videos that are related to the topic we are currently learning, SuperPosition . Minutes before the teacher's day concert, there were many people rushing to print their work out in the library . The scene at that moment was pretty hilarious I guess, though I'm no doubt, part of it .

Teacher's day concert was great . Had 7 groups to perform. They are actually the contestants that managed to get through the auditions . I guess it doesn't really matter to them if they win a not because I could see that all of them were enjoying themselves up there on stage . A couple of them was really touching . Felt the sweetness partly because of it .. and the MnMs :P

Shall upload the videos later . Or should I say I have been uploading them since the time I reached home but the file is really huge, hence for the wait . Never mind . I promise that they would be in by tomorrow ! Shall update about the concert tomorrow .

After school, went back to aiss . When we were going back, we looked like some gang or something . Because there is a " small " ai family in yjc . Quite disappointed that half of the teachers had left school . Managed to catch ms ilysa . She was so "encouraging" . Asked me if I was still taking physics . I said yes . Then she replied " Why ? I told you don't take already ! ". Gosh ><" Well . I'm bad at it but .. shall work harder . As usual mindy is still getting good grades for physics .

Met up with sharine, yuan xi, jia ying, mindy and others . Disappointed that jiaying and sharine couldn't go with us to yiling's house . Laopa tagged along too . At her house we were playing this card game " Idiot " which I just learnt . Fun . We were like going crazy over the game . Had forfeit . First was joyce then me and lastly yuan xi . I don't have the videos with me, its with yiling's friend I guess . But I will never upload them here man :X Tarnish the already non-existent reputation that I have . hahas .. After the game we were watching tv and all . Their friend, Cheryl was really friendly and easy to get along with . In the end all of us were talking together .

Then I left for home . Went to library to borrow some books . IRRITATING ! I think the new ez-link cannot be read by the machine . I always spend a long time trying to get the scanner to identify my ez-link . And somehow today it was really bad, couldn't read at all . So I had to go to the counter . Well . Forget it ><"

Tired ! Shall go and sleep . Slept really late yesterday night .. Or should I say today morning .

Going to study with jiaying tomorrow at woodlands library . Before that going to grab burger king's breakfast . Long time since I ate it . Especially with jiaying . Those times, I MISS THEM ! Glad that we will be eating it tomorrow ~ !

Yawn ..

Time check - 1:12am
Mood - Neutral
Status - Awake . Doing project work .

I guess . I'm feeling really awake now . I have gone past the " IM SO TIRED . I WANT TO SLEEP " phase . Now is " I don't know what I'm doing but I'm not sleepy " mode. Tomorrow I would become a walking zombie. Oh wait . What tomorrow . I mean later .

Can't say that our written report is perfect or good. But at least its better than before :D Great work guys ..

Okay .. The bed is calling me ..

Thursday, August 28, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROGGY :DD

Somehow my mum never fails to brighten up my day by cooking something I love for dinner . I LOVE YOU MUM ! :D

And not to forget ..

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY SHARINE !
LOVE YA LOTS !
MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE !
YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME SO STAY HAPPY !
DON'T EVER LET THAT SMILE OFF YOUR FACE !
-LOVE <333
PENGUIN :D

its all over again isn't it ..

Well . Today was the first half an hour of computing practical promos. Guess it was quite ok. Was kind of nervous and all because I always have difficulty remembering the codes and all. At least its seperated. So I can go home and memorise the code before going in again next monday. I suck at practical I guess. But I have to work hard for this. 25% of promotional exams. Means a lot. If I get zero I'm dead considering the fact that I need quite high mark for me to pass computing in overall.

PE sucked. Suddenly I realised all the bad things happen all together. One after the other. Somehow they come in groups. Was raining today so there was no inter-class soccer competition. Did circuit training. The worst thing that could happen in PE lessons.

Chinese was boring too.. Homework for the holidays.

Break was the best. Had magi mee for break. It was so cold and I needed something to warm me up. Even though I was wearing my jacket I can still feel the coldness inside. Just realised I've not did any pw yet. Dead.

Maths tutorial. Third event of the day that sucked. Things just get worse and worse isn't it. It didn't stop during maths tutorial too.

Then comp practical. Thought it was finally going to change for the better when it continues on.. Economics lesson was okay. Ms kwok described us as photocopying machine. She was afraid of us because every time she flashed the answer on the screen we would start copying like crazy.

After that went with dar to northpoint. Got something for teacher's day. Buying flowers from linglan tomorrow. Think I'm going to give one to my secondary school teacher. Hope that when we get back they would still be in school tomorrow. If not I would be so disappointed !

Just now was so pissed off by my aunt. She came over wanting to use the internet. Then my brother changed the wireless password and I forgot to get it from him. So she's angry and demanded for the lan cable. I replied that I don't know where the cables are. Tried searching for it. But couldn't find it so I said that wait for my mum to finish bathing and get it from her. She was like saying " She come out my battery also no more le right " . I was so pissed off for goodness sake. I rebutted " Fine . Then what you want me to do ? Use magic and get it out for you or something is it ? " In the end I think she realised she was mean . So she stopped . Seriously. Though they are seniors . But its really vexing when they make these kind of orders . What do you want me to do seriously ?

Darn . Today in a really bad mood .

i have no idea why everything i say just makes you angry.
its like whatever i say is wrong.
im trying really hard ..
help me sometimes please ...


seriously . it hurts a lot

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

history repeats itself ..

History had repeated itself yet I have only myself to blame. I guess I have to put in more effort instead of giving empty promises. Its difficult to forgive yourself ..

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today is " long breaks day " . On the journey school, I was complaining to Linglan about my heavy bag .. She was happily saying that she only have 2 lessons today. I nodded and said that I only have two too. We realised that if I take away my water bottle and notebook, my bag would be lighter by half. Well .. I CAN'T DO WITHOUT THEM THOUGH !

There was no GP test today hence it was converted to a GP lecture. Wrote lots of notes but not sure if it went into my head. And I doubt I would read it later on. "A pen should be normal .. " :X

After that was chinese . Boring .. I really hate chinese lessons now. I can't stand chinese characters . They make me sleep. Its really difficult to focus now especially I'm more tired. Uses a lot more energy to focus in class.

THEN WAS THE START OF MY 3 HOURS BREAK !

Went outside the guitar room with shannon . Did my homework ~ Or should I say " finish " up . Completed my econs after much struggling . Also did question 9 of maths tutorial . Then in the end realised that I wasted my effort . Oh well . Forget it .

Guitar's farewell slideshow was really nice . Created by jolene . Great effort done there :D

The rest of the break was guitar lesson #2! I'm really slow when it comes to music . Ain't really made for it but I shall try harder ! Shannon is trying to teach me "Your Call" . But I realised my nails are getting in the way. Have to cut them I guess . MY NAILS ~~ Oh well . Oh. And I realised that my fingers ain't that inflexible after all . At first I had difficulty pressing all the notes together then I found out it was the positioning of my thumb ! Corrected it and it was quite ok actually. Better than before. thanks :D

Computing . Finally figured out what was wrong. Thanks to mao mao cher :X Going to finish it up later. Tomorrow going to start on Promotional exams practical ! So nervous . Have to revise later then.

Maths tutorial was okok . I calculated with the marks that mr wen gave now. Though its not finalised yet, I need 48 marks for promotional exams to pass it . I guess its quite ok. Shall work hard ! I'm aiming for a D :P Quite a low aim but I shall start with a low aim first. Can't really aim too high. As the saying goes, " the higher you aim, the bigger the disappointment would be" OK . YOU FOUND OUT . I directly translated this from chinese . Oh well .. Shouldn't be that hard to understand though.

After maths went for dance . Quite happy today. Learnt new stuff ! Realised that I'm so inflexible ! I can't arch my back hence during warm up, I have difficulty doing flat back. Never mind . I shall practise more. Candice Petunia and YingZhu helped me with quite a lot of stuff. Jessica too . Oh well . Huiling too . And HuiNa . I think I'm listing all of the people . Realised that I'm too quiet hence everyone gets the wrong impression of me . When I start to open up more, everyone starts to talk to me. Okays . Shall try harder . Bad social skills yeah ?

Also practised the dance routines. Can't remember the first one . The song is so fast . Although there's a lot of steps, in fact it ended in like a few seconds . Scary . Wonder how will the whole song be . The amount of steps to remember ! Approaching the end of dance, we started to go crazy. We changed music to hiphop ones. Jasmine was going crazy with " I fell in love with the DJ". She started to invent weird steps for it. In the end the atmosphere was really high. Tried to learn body waves and all . Jessica was telling me to relax and open up. And do not be scared of embarassing myself . But its really difficult ! And I guess I'm not that bad after all . Well .. ><"

After dance went for just for you program . First time I finished the worksheet so fast !

Then went to have dinner with Jessica. And home ! :D

OKAY ! HOMEWORK TIME ! COMPUTING PRACTICAL ! HERE I COME :DD

you are the key to my heart ..

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

reflect ..

Well .. Ain't really going to type about what happened today . Apparently something major happened and now our class is falling apart . Or should I say many people are holding a grudge to well .. yeah .

Actually . I have a lot to write but I don't really want to point out names over here . Its just this general thing that we people do not really think before we act . And in the end unknowingly we offend other people and also create misunderstandings . But of course its important to realise that in life we not only judge other people and also yourself . Its important to know what you are doing and also what you have done wrong .

It is perhaps time to reflect on yourself . Some so called jokes can't be carried too far . A little teasing is fine but when you go over the line . You are hurting others and yourself . People might start to hate you or avoid you . In the end you don't even what happened and suddenly you're out of friends .

Never throw a person in jail before giving them another chance to redeem themselves . Everyone makes mistakes . We all need that chance . And one day you might need it too . So well .. shouldn't say anymore .

Have to start on my homework . All I want to say is . In case you hurt other people unknowingly, before it becomes too late, think before you act . Prevention is always better than cure (:

Monday, August 25, 2008

:DD smiles ..

Crimson blood stained the first snow in ages. Memories created from the past decade were still vividly in my mind, unable to be forgotten. The previous winter was cold, in fact, freezing.
This winter, brightly lighted stars furnished the city with warmth. Yet somehow, my heart was as cold as the weather. Was it like this from the beginning? Or have something happened..?
Strands of blond streaked hair floated lightly in the air like dancing fishes as a light breeze passed by. I squint my eyes trying to look beyond the fog. Was that a shadow? Perhaps just an illusion. Reassured that it was just my brain playing tricks on eyes, I started walking back into the cabin.
Sparsely furnished with the basic requirements of home, I plopped into my soft velvet red cushion sofa. Silence. Something that I’ve hated since that day, something I would try not to be involved in, in case all those memories start flooding back again. Perhaps it would seem to be that I've already succeeded on the surface. Yet, they seem to be ball and chains. Afraid that I would get away.
378 days and counting. A year had passed. The next winter had arrived. The surroundings had changed. But it seems like they would never surrender. Clinging on to me like moth to a flame. They are going to torture me till I'm gone isn't it? I should have expected this from the start. Should have considered the consequences right from the beginning. Of who's fault is it now that I'm going through living hell. Not his family. Not my parents. Not him. Just me. Plainly me.

P.S. This does not reflect my mood or feelings or what so ever . Just plain nothing-to-do-ness ~

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

freaking hell ~ freaking hell ~ lala :D

These few days this has been coming out from my mouth like thousand .. no . zillion times perhaps . Can't stand everything around me ! Well . Enough of complains and start with my post ! :D

Physics test was awful today . Enough with everyone saying " EASY LA . " Darn . Does anyone know how depressed I am here ? Personally, I feel that the test is difficult . Secondly, I didn't even understand the question . I don't hope for an A or those top notch grades . All I want is a measly E . Wonder if that is even possible . Been trying my best the past weeks . Promotional exams are coming . I would never want to see my juniors in the same year as me . NO WAY !

Okay . Fine with all these grumbling of my physics test . After test was chinese lesson . Finally at the last topic . I'm really glad that chinese A levels is this year . I hate chinese . Serious . I have basically no idea at all why I'm scoring at it when I don't even understand the passage . I even have problems writing simple words . I guess its the education system in Singapore . Dump me with the papers without my chinese dictionary and you would get a dying penguin trying to waddle out of these shit . Oops . I mean mess . I can't do anything without the dictionary . Even when I have the dictionary I can still have spelling errors . Its madness . Don't know how much I hate chinese to the core .

Next was uh . Let me check my timetable . Been having short term memory loss lately . Can't even remember what I ate just now for dinner . Fine . Thats exaggerating . But I seriously can't remember all those teeny weeny details anymore . Guess my blog posts are going to be more and more boring . Maybe one day you would get this kind of post ..

Physics lesson was boring .
Chinese lsson was worse .
Break was great .
Hate maths lecture .
Econs is freaking boring .

Thats kind of scary . But I guess that won't ever happen . I'm too crappy for it . Look at this post . Minus all the crap . I guess all thats left is perhaps .. 1/3 .

Well, well .. After chinese was project work lesson . Project work . Got me into some "high" mood . Ms mok is hilarious . Serious . I think it has been a long time since she touched microsoft word . Okay . It was like this . We were asking her about our written report that she gone through . And all the comments she gave . There was this part which was done by me . So I did a graphical representation of it . And I wrote below clearly " Graphical represenation of our blah blah .. " Then she commented " Source " . A huge one on it . I was like " huh ? " So when I asked her about it . She said " I thought you got it off from the net .. hahaha .. " She was basically trying to laugh it off . Sometimes I wonder if she was even reading it properly or just scanning through . Oh well .. forget it .

Then was break ! So happy today . Guess what . I've only spent ONE DOLLAR TODAY ! Cool right . My goal this week is to only spend 10 bucks . So now I have nine dollars left .

After break was computing lesson followed by economics then physics tutorial .

Been feeling guilty about the physics test in the morning all along . ><"

After school was walking home actually . Then went back to do computing . And yupp . Now I'm home .

Have to finish my homework ! :D cyas !

Sunday, August 24, 2008

procrastination .. not again

Freaking hell .

Didn't mean to start off with such crude words .
But I'm feeling extremely pissed off with myself right now .
Yep ..
You didn't hear wrong . Its ..
MYSELF .

Can't stand how last minute I am . My determination just ain't strong enough I guess .

History repeats itself . Tomorrow I'm having a physics test and here I am not prepared at all .
Damn ..
Procrastination .
Where have all those " I would study hard " gone ?
Just realised that september holidays are just wrong the corner which implies that exams are coming at this astonishing speed that I have not expected .

And here I'm finally awake and wondering if its too late now to save the " poor " me from retaining .

Till now for physics test tomorrow, I can't say I have finished studying any of the three topics . And its meant to be easy . The test tomorrow I mean . It be really great if I'm the only one that can't do it . I'm already one of the worst in class . Yet ..

Damn . I should do better .

Fine . Enough with these blabber . Have to continue studying and hope that lady luck is there for me . Or else I'm pretty sure I'm dead .

Leona Lewis (:

Was listening to leona lewis's music albums . Found some really great songs ! :D Seems like I will get addicted to it for a period of time alike to mariah carey's E = MC2 . I love her songs because of the meaningful lyrics ! The lyrics are seriously great .

Leona Lewis

Leona Lewis - Yesterday

I just can't believe you're gone,
still waiting for morning to come,
when I see if the sun will rise in the way that your by my side,
oooo ..
where we had so much in store,
tell me what is it all reaching for,
when were through building memories i'll hold yesterday in my heart,
in my heart ..

[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
they can take the music that we'll never play,
all the broken dreams, take everything,
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday, they
Can take the future that we'll never know,
they can take the places that we said we will go,
all the broken dreams take everything, just take it away,
but they can never have yesterday

You always choose to stay,
i should be thankful for everyday,
heaven knows what the future holds,
or least where the story goes,
i never believed untill now,
i know il see you again im sure,
no its not selfish to ask for more,
one more night one more day one more smile on your face
but they cant take yesterday,

[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
they can take the music that wel never play,
all the broken dreams, take everything,
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday, they
Can take the future that we'll never know,
they can take the places that we said we will go,
all the broken dreams take everything, just take it away,
but they can never have yesterday

I thought our days would last forever,
but it wasnt our destiny,
coz in my mind we had so much time,
but i was so wrong,
no i can believe me
i can still find the strengh in the moments we made
im lookin back on yesterday

[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
they can take the music that we'll never play,
all the broken dreams, take everything,
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday, they
Can take the future that we'll never know,
they can take the places that we said we will go,
all the broken dreams take everything, just take it away,
but they can never have yesterday

Leona Lewis - Take A Bow

[Verse 1:]
The flowers are faded now
Along with your letters
They will never see the light of day
Cause I'll never take them out
And there's no turning back
Its for the better
Baby I deserved more than empty words
And promises
I believed everything you said
And I give you the best I have
Oh.

[Chorus:]
So take a bow.
Cause you've taken everything else
You played the part and like a star you played it so well
Take a bow
'cause this scene is coming to an end
I gave you love. All you give me was pretend
So now... Take a bow

[Verse 2:]
The future's about to change
Before you know it the curtain closes
Take a look around
There's no one in the crowd
I'm throwing away the pain
And you should know that your performance it made me stronger now

[Chorus]

[Hook:]
Well it must have been slight of hand
'cause I still can't understand
How I could never see
Just what a fool believed
Um

But the lies they start to show
Tell me how it feels to know
Right now that I wont be around
So baby before I put you out

[Chorus x2]

Leona Lewis - I will be

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me

All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go

[Bridge:]
I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

[Chorus:]
I will be, all that you want
And gather myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything OK

[Verse 2:]
I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly

You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe, cause you're here with me

[Bridge:]
And if I let you down
I'll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go

[Chorus]

[Ending bridge:]
Cause without you I cant breathe
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave
You're all I've got, you're all I want
Yeah

And without you I don't know what I'd do
I can never, ever live a day without you
Here with me, do you see,
You're all I need

[Chorus x2]

Leona Lewis - Angel

I feel it, you feel it
That this was meant to be.
I know it, you know it
That you were made for me.
We can't deny this any longer
Day by day we're getting stronger.
I want it, you want it
It's what the people want to see.

We're like Romeo and Juliet
Families can't divide us.
Like the tallest mountain on the widest sea
Nothing's big enough to hide us.
When we make love its overwhelming
I just touch the heavens
You're an angel, you're an angel

I said this world, this world.
Could leave us anyday
But my love for you, it will never go away.
And I don't wanna go to sleep
'cause you are like a dream
For every night I say a prayer,
And I swear you are the answer
You're an angel, you're an angel, you're an angel.

So we take it each moment our love grows
I see it, you see it,
What we have is made of gold
We're so filled with meaning,
Nothing can make us shallow.
So I hold it, and you hold it
The promise of tomorrow.
When we make love its overwhelming
I just touch the heavens.
You're an angel, you're an angel

And I said this world, this world
Could leave us anyday
But my love for you, it will never go away.
And I don't wanna go to sleep
'cause you are like a dream
For every night I say a prayer,
And I swear you are the answer
You're an angel, you're an angel, you're an angel.

I don't need three wishes
Oh I just need one
For us to never be finished
For us to never be numb
When they say it's over
We'll just say I love you
And when they say it's finished
We'll just keep on building.

And I said this world, this world
Could leave us anyday
But my love for you, it will never go away.
And I don't wanna go to sleep
'cause you are like a dream
For every night I say a prayer,
And I swear you are the answer [x2]

You're an angel, you're an angel, you're an angel.

Yes you are. You're an angel

Leona Lewis - Here I Am

This is a crazy world
These can be lonely times
It's hard to know who's on your side
Most of the time

Who can you really trust
Who do you really know
Is there anybody out there
Who can make you feel less alone
Some times you just can't make it on your own

If you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am, hmmm

If you have broken dreams
Just lay them all on me
I'll be the one who understands
So take my hand

If you reach emptyness

You know I'll do my best
To fill you up with all the love
That I can show someone
I promise you you'll never walk alone

Well if you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am, oooo

Everybody needs somebody who
keep a heart and soul in two

Well if you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am, Here I am

Leona Lewis - The best you never had

I was so in love with you
There was nothing I could do
Wouldn't give me the time of day
Now you wanna be with me
You say you wanna be with me

You said I was the best
Gave your love out the rest
There was nothing I could say
It's going good for me
You say you wanna be with me
Now

Yeah you're telling me that
I am were it's at
But I ain't having none of that....

[Chorus:]
Because I told you, you would look to regret it,
and now I don't wanna make you feel bad,
But when it comes to me just forget it,
I'll be the best you never had,
You put me through so many emotions,
Now baby it's your turn for that,
'cause in your empty heart I left a mark,
The best you never had.

No, No, No

You saw me as a friend,
Baby I don't want revenge,
But if you must know the truth,
What you didn't see in me
Reflects what you will never be now,
When you're telling me I was always the one,
I feel your desperation.

[Chorus]

Back rubs, good love, my stuff
That's what you missed out on
My touch... show much we could have
You miss,
My kiss,
My lips,
The love I had for you
Our song, so long

[Chorus x2]

Well I will always be the best you never had

The best you never had

credits : lyricsmania.net

Yawn ..

Tired ! The internet is so slow at night. Or should I say early morning . Had been filing maths for like 1 hour . Was watching " they kiss again " while filing . Hence wasting a lot of time :X

Okays . Things that I forgot to mention . Thanks to jaslyn . Because I was using my rubberband to help her tie a side ponytail, she confiscated it and bundled it with hers on her hand . In the end when I left, I forgot to take it from her . And she didn't remember either . So now its with her and I wonder how I can get it back .

Well . Thats all . Have to sleep already ! Need to study for physics test on monday and there are other homework . Guess I have to kind of renounce on my computing assignment .

-----------------------------------------------

So much had happened . I guessed I have never told you how I felt and I guess its time to stop bottling them all in . Feelings are meant to be conveyed . Now I'm just afraid that I would lose all I have right now . Afraid that if I hold on too tight, it would just slip through . Afraid that I hold it too losely, I would lose everything in the end .

I love you (:

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Perfect . It depends on how you define it .

Woke up today at 8am . Wanted to go to school for computing but when I wake up, was feeling nauseated. So didn't go in the end . Continued sleeping and went out to study in the afternoon with sha . SLACKER ! He don't want study still distract people there -.- In the end only do like 2 maths questions ?! Darn .. He's too high or something . When I was trying to focus he will sure distract me . Like so .. x.x Bet he didn't study anything either .

After that went to arcade . Played for like the second time of my life ? Forget what was the machine called . Won him by like a little . The game is like o2jam or something . So I used the best technique . All press together :X Once I see a lot of notes to press at the same time or subsequently, I would just press all of them at once . Too nervous ><" Oh yeahs . There was this crew who wanted to catch me for wearing school clothes or something . This is how I dress normally x.x then she was looking at the logo of my shirt . When she saw it was a treble clef, she had nothing to say . It was a choir shirt :X

Then met up with jas to eat dinner . Ate some spicy pasta =X Jas and I were competing to see who would tear first . Guess both of us didn't tear . sha looked like he was going to cry any moment =x We aren't angry . Stop blaming yourself ! During tuition both of us were slacking as usual . Look at these scribblings jas did on my worksheet .







Well .. Then dad drove me home . Lets see what other stuff happened . Oh . I was going crazy during tuition . Tried to make jas have a side ponytail . Used my ring as a rubber band for her hair . And .. hm .. Placed my ring and hers on both sides of her eraser trying to show circular motion . I was going crazy basically x.x

Ok . Homework time :D cyas people ..

somehow . this fear of losing you cant be obliterated
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

" Being perfect. Actually it is determine by how you define the word "

These few days this topic has been hovering around me . Thinking and wondering why am i so imperfect . Then tonight, when i was watching tv, i came across this taiwanese drama . Where the female lead was feeling very disappointed because of how imperfect she was . Then it suddenly daunted on me that actually the word " perfect " depends on how you actually define it . Anyone can say they are perfect . But does it really exist ? I guess it all depends on the indiviual isn't it ? When you place high expections on someone, and that person fails you, you would describe her or him as imperfect . So actually when you think about it, its all about you and your thinking .

Friday, August 22, 2008

shoelaces attack ! double knots .

I think its been a long time since I exercised so vigorously or something . My muscles are still aching from wednesday's basketball matches . Its crazy . During dance today I thought that I'm going to die or something . Every time I tiptoe, I can feel the stretch like crazy . Its hurting a lot ><"

Well . Lets start SYSTEMATICALLY . OOI ( Organization of Ideas =X ) . Today morning kind of got a shock of my life . Shouldn't blog about it because its kind of personal . Not to me of course but it involves others .

PW lecture was boring . Was pulling shannon's shoelaces and jolene's I think . Ash has started this shoelace war and its never going to stop . Everyone is tying double knots now ! And I'm the victim as I don't tie double knots . I feel that its really difficult to untie it later . Anyways bought a new pencil and eraser . I'll have to forget my past one then . Going to miss it . Still not getting used to the new shaker yet ..

Physics lecture was funny as usual because Mr Leong is the lecturer again . So many videos . Interesting . But I can't get the lecture . Darn . Sucky physics again . Shall go through again later . And also complete my homework so that I can study over the weekends . Promotional exams are coming . They are a HUGE component which determines whether I'm going to J2 a not . So I have to buck up now . Hope that it still makes a difference .

Then was 2 hours of computing . Did my homework :P so obedient right :D Was really hungry during chinese lesson which was after this . Ate my cheesebread ! Lucky I prepared it or else I would have died from hunger or something .

Guess I'm just not determined enough . Still spending money ! AHH ! Next week I shall be more serious in saving . Shall only spend .. $10 for the whole week ! Not only meals in school but also outside . Shall bring more bread to school . Cheese bread ! I LOVE CHEESE ! :D LOVE MILK, CHEESE, YOGHURT, DARK CHOCOLATES AND MORE xD

Well , next was GP tutorial . One and a half hours . My favourite lesson :X I think its more relaxed than the others and the classrooms are great . I hate economic classroom . It has this perpetual sleeping atmosphere or something . Once you step into the classroom, your eyelids would feel so heavy and its so difficult to even keep it half open . Its THAT bad .

Then was physics . First time I complete physics worksheet without much help . Darn .. I'm that pathetic . Got to work hard now . Only like 40 more days ? Bet I can do this ! FULL TIME NERD !

Dance was great . Our dance instructor, Dapheny came today ! Long time since I last saw her . Today's warm up was okay . As long as there are no leg lifts, I'm fine with it . Today's leglifts were considered little . No crunches though . Love crunches . Learnt a new dance routine today . Dancing to the song The best you ever had by Leona Lewis . Its really fast . And she's not going to teach us counts anymore . Instead listen to the music and the lyrics . Better way of learning I guess . Shall work hard ! I was like happy that I finally got the jordin sparks dance routine ! Now a tougher one comes up . Well, practice makes perfect ! :D

After dance went to have dinner with jessica . Met up with zi ning too . LONG TIME NO SEE ! She's still so thin x.x Well .. HIGH METABOLISM RATE ! What can I say ? Okays . Homework time .

OBESSESION WITH STORYBOOKS ! :DD

because you are so important to me . hence i wouldn't even want to lose you .. love you lots .

Thursday, August 21, 2008

pencil and eraser ..

YAY I LOST MY PENCIL AND ERASER .. don't worry ! shall find you all back . Stay put while i am gone ><"

Won't be typing a long post today due to lots of homework ! Shall keep it short and sweet ! :D

Hate PE games . Seriously, why can't they choose some normal sports like basketball, volleyball or netball ? Next one would be soccer which is OMG . I think I would most probably trip over the ball instead or fall down for no reason . Love basketball ! But still think that volleyball is better :X

Chinese was kind of boring . One and half hours . MingSheng and YangJie were sleeping . Chee Wee was like laughing and asked me to look and MingSheng . He waved his hands in front of MingSheng then no response . Shows that he is sleeping and YangJie was the same . They are good at this . The teacher didn't care about them at all . Guess their spectacles play a huge factor . The sides are thick hence the eyes can't be seen properly.

Break was rushing homework time ! Econs and more econs ! thanks (:

Then was maths lecture . Boring . Struggling with integration . Like so whatever . Ren Zhi was grumbling with me how difficult it is . Following maths lecture was tutorial . More boring stuff .. im not angry ><" just kind of sad why i am so incompetent in maths ..

Then was break again . Managed to read up a little for econs test . Then bought food . Too tempted :X Tomorrow I am bringing cheese bread to school . SAVE MONEY !

Well .. After school went back home . Read storybook for like half an hour and started on my homework .

Okays . More homework to be completed . cyas all :D

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

muscle aches !

I have never been a person who would express their anger when they are frustrated . Instead I would only respond with cold statements .

---------------------------------------------------------

TODAY IS A FUN DAY ! I GUESS ITS TRUE WHEN PEOPLE SAY TOMORROW WOULD BE BETTER :D

Wednesday . The best day of the week . Always . Its an absolute statement . Never doubt it . The day started off with craziness . RIGHT FROM THE MORNING .

I was quite happy while walking to school today . Or should I say the place where I meet joyce, ling lan and wen jia in the morning . Joyce was like freaking out when each person passed by . Because they were all stepping on this worm ! And the thing is the worm doesn't die . NEVER SAY DIE ! xD Joyce " the saint " was feeling sorry for it and asked wen jia to move it to the drain . Wen jia, the " daring " girl took a piece of leaf and tried to slide the worm up . In the end the worm coiled up and we all got a shock and ran away . Everyone was like looking at us . I admit I shouted the loudest :X I just have a spot for insects and worms ><"

On the journy to school, saw a cockroach . But its not really saw . Because it was wen jia who saw it and told us . So again . I freaked out shouted so high pitch that everyone around us was looking . My face was like so pale when I reached schoo l . In the end I even got freaked out by a twig -.-

Enough of this insect nonsense and lets move on ! First period was break . Went outside the guitar room and "did" my maths . Saw pictures of melvin when he was young . Oops . Young ? I meant when he was .. sec 4 or Jc 1 . Thats what he claimed . But he looked really different now . Jolene said that he has gained weight . Well .. perhaps .

Next, went for chinese . Then start of the three hours long break . Did maths . Then learnt guitar from sha ! wahaha ! GUITAR ! Learnt quite a lot of stuff during that 40 minutes I think . I can still remember them okay ! First string to last string . They go in this order . E B D G A E . Then the" fraps " or however it is spelt . OK . ITS FRETS . ( CONFIRMED .. thanks to jim =X )I finally understood them ! :DD And I learnt that E and uh .. OH NO .. E and ... and ... ><" ~ B I think . Has no sharp ! YEAH ! PROUD OF MYSELF ! Looking forward to the next guitar lesson :D Okays .

Then was computing . Was insulted by melvin yet again ~ He was like laughing at me while I was asking him " stupid " questions for practical . Well, I am not the worst . Jolene was suffering too .

Maths was cool . Mr wen came down to the lab personally to chase us for maths class . He was getting sick of us being late I guess . Had fun pulling out sha's and ash's shoelaces like they had with mine . It was so funny . And I placed sha's pen's cap away . " A PEN SHOULD BE NORMAL ! THEY ONLY NEED ONE CAP ! " remember this :X

Then went for dance . Starting to hate dance I guess . Not because of the CCA . But the people instead . Shall not elaborate on it . We sneaked out in the middle and crashed into basketball girls training . So fun . I mean the people there are better . They treat you as one . Played few matches . Guess I still suck at basketball . Accuracy sucks ! At least pras praised me for my rebounding :X Maybe I don't suck that much in basketball after all . Wen jia Jessica and me were going crazy shooting three pointer goals . And seriously ! Wen jia's theory is right . When we stand right in the centre, the ball gets in ! So happy . Another shocking thing . Ms khoo KNOWS MY NAME . And she played basketball with us too . She's quite good at it . The only thing was that she was not wearing proper shoes . Forget to mention , their warmups are comparable to dance . Their pushups are CRAZY ! SO FAST . But crunches .. Nothing compared to dance . Oh well . Had a lot of fun today . Starting to like basketball ! :DD
im too afraid to move forward
don't wana lose whatever there is now

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

in hope lies the utmost fear ..

I feel so lazy right now . Don't feel like blogging and all . Its so tiring to recall what has happened today yet when I think about in the future, when I read my posts again . I could reminisce about my past memories in school . So I shall blog ! ( now I feel much better )

Well . Let me see . Today was a sweaty day from the start because ling lan arrived late ! So we had to walk so fast to school ! ><" And knowing my height, I have to increase my velocity to catch up . Hence when I reached school, I am drenched in sweat .

Had physics tutorial instead of practical . Seems like when you have practical in labs, you would feel more awake . Wonder why . The mystery of practical labs ~

After that was break ! Took jolene's diet for break . Was nearly stuffed to death . At first I told the auntie happily that I want mine identical to jolene's . Then in the end I realised it was too much for me ! She ordered ( which was mine also ) two nuggets, curry potato, hashbrown and tofu . HELLO ! Its my first time eating such a variety of food . In the end I couldn't finish them . Xue Er helped me to finish the nuggets while the others ( potato and a little tofu ) went to waste :X Then we went to the library . Jeannette and the others were finishing up their homework while I was engrossed with my storybook ! Darn ~! I missed that sequel . Great book seriously . ( refer to my sunday's post on what book I am currently reading )

Then was physics lecture . Mr sim demanded us to hand in the " just for u " worksheet by today or else he would send us to detention . Hence went home really late today ><" Mr leong is a great lecturer . Everything he says just gets into my brain somehow ! Its like he can make the lecture so interesting . And he always do funny things to gain our attention . In his lectures, he would add in video clips and a lot of live demostrations . Thus we are really focused in his lectures !

Okay next was .. computing lesson . Lucky that it was not practical today ><" starting to hate practicals and all . I realised that now all the homework are compiling higher and higher ! And I am unable to complete them ! darn ..

Well . During maths lecture, I found out that weiqin's sheep keychain has a name . Baa-baa which later was changed to mehmeh . I wonder why ? And hence I gave my voodoo keychain a name too . Dark :D Nice right ? At first weiqin thought I named it duck . Like kind of .. no link ? At the last part of the lecture, the lecturer was finally making some sense and I kind of got a little idea of whats going on .

Me : I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel
Jolene : And me right ?
Me : Oh no . The light is gone . Cause you covered it :X

She was like giving the " what the hell " look :P

After that was GP LESSON ! ( I skipped econs lesson because it was a " I can't sleep . I must open my eyes session ) Crapped a lot . Its hard not to joke when Melvin is beside you and opposing everything that you are saying isn't it ? And he vandalised my book of secrets . He said that my book is .. Can't remember the name . Just some stupid name . When you flipped to the first few pages of my book, you would see a lot of inspirational quotes I've gotten from either famous people or quotes by friends such as jolene or even written by me . What I wrote was " Be someone that everyone wants to know, not someone that wants to know everyone" Hence, melvin gave a little note beside it . " And be a loner " . Well , seems like his headache is working . Not that prickly today . On jolene's quote " When you are beyond your fears, you are free " . He added a subscript . " Yep . Try jumping off the cliff . Thats when you are really free " . I really feel like whacking him !

Then went to complete the physics worksheet till 8 plus ! Sorry to jas ><" Lucky you didn't wait for me . We were like dying there . Slogging away . When we couldn't do the questions, we started going crazy . So high and all . Jeannette and me starte doing weird things . Weiqin was giving us the " -_- " look . Well .. DE-STRESS YEAH ! When jolene came, the crappiness just accumulated . It was so funny . Then ms lim came over to help us . She is like so thin ! And we were depriving her of her dinner :X She looked like she's going to faint soon or something . Too thin !

Oh yeahs . I realised that chen hong resemble a model when he is drinking a cup of water . The way he sits and all . Its so funny ! And while we were discussing physics questions with ms lim, chen hong was busy eating instant noodles beside us ! Nearly killed him ! WE WERE SO HUNGRY . And there he was happily gulping his noodles .

After that walked to the mrt with weiqin, jolene, jean and sha ! TIRED ! ><"

Have LOTS of homework to complete today . Tomorrow shall be a walking zombie ><" Bring some food to brighten me up :P A chocolate would be nice :X

this hope i am carrying,
is full of fear

----------------------------------------------------------------

Permanent Monday - Jordin Sparks

Falling leaves like a blanket at my feet
There's a canopy of stars
And I just miss you like crazy
Suddenly the world's too big
And the hours move too slow
And I just wish that you were holding me near

Seven days, it feels like a year
You whisper through the line
You know I miss you like crazy
So baby can you steal a plane
A boat, the fastes train
You know it just don't feel the same when you're gone

[Chorus:]
'Cause everytime you go away
The sunshine starts to fade
Frozen by the hands of time into a
Permanent Monday
Take me back into your arms
And don't ever let me go
'Cause when I see you walk through that door
I'm not lost anymore
I'm home
I'm home

I won't sleep until you're finally next to me
Can't wait to breahe you in
Don't wanna waste my time dreaming
I just wanna treat your name like
A whipser on my skin
And never have to say goodbye again

[Chorus:]
'Cause everytime you go away
The sunshine starts to fade
Frozen by the hands of time into a
Permanent Monday
Take me back into your arms
And don't ever let me go
'Cause when I see you walk through that door
I'm not lost anymore
I'm home

'Cause when I feel you right here close to me
Everything is where it's supposed to be, baby

[Chorus:]
'Cause everytime you go away
The sunshine starts to fade
Frozen by the hands of time into a
Permanent Monday
Take me back into your arms
And don't ever let me go
'Cause when I see you walk through that door
I'm not lost anymore
I'm home
I'm home
Yes I am
And I miss you like crazy

Monday, August 18, 2008

its always the same ..

Today was " I want to sleep day ". Didn't want to wake up at all . Wanted to lie on bed and sleep forever .

Didn't have any weekly test so the slot was used to do my physics tutorials ! Guess I didn't manage to answer most of them ><" MY PHYSICS SUCKS ! and I am really scared that I would not promote because of it . Haix ..

Anyways ate only 2 pieces of honeydew today because I wanted to start my saving plan ! SPENT A LOT OF MONEY THESE FEW DAYS ! Which is kind of stupid ._. Because I broke it in the end . When I was going home after school with weiqin I couldn't stand the starve and I bought chocolate croissant from delifrance :P Well .. Forget it . And Jennifer, Jolene and Weiqin was scolding me for it . Said that it was not healthy . Blehs . Then suggest something that is CHEAP ! >< Jennifer was telling me during pe that if I faint on the track she would have trouble pulling me back . LOL . Because Jennifer wanted to run . Then Jeannette and Jolene didn't want to . So I accompanied her .

During PC/CT period we had a sexuality talk . Jolene joked " You see arhs . Guys very clever one . When watching R-Rated shows, they will cover our eyes with their hands . Then they watch themselves " I was laughing like crazy . Jennifer was laughing too . Only Jeannette asked " Why would they want to watch ? " Jolene was like " haix .. she need to broaden her horizons " ( She said in chinese . So I just translated into english )

AHHH ~ Have to do homework already . They are overflowing !
somehow it seems like no matter what i do ..
its still the same

maybe i should give up

give me the strength to give up ..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sharine introduced them to me . and till now i still love this song :D

When it all falls apart - The Veronicas



I'm having the day from hell,
it was all going so well (before you came)
And you told me you needed space,
With a kiss on the side my face (not again)
And not to mention (the tears I shed)
But I should have kicked your (ass instead)
I need intervention
Attention to stop this quenching to scream

'cause baby

[chorus:]
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
'cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
No

Don't know where I parked my car
Don't know who my real friends are (anymore)
I put my faith in you
What a stupid thing to do (when it rains it pours)
And not to mention (I drank too much)
I'm feeling hung over (and out of touch)
I need intervention
Attention to stop this quenching to scream

'cause baby

[chorus]

Can it be easier?
Can I just change my life?
'cause it just seems to go bad everytime
Will I be mending?
another one ending once again

[chorus x2]

Falls apart
Gotta pick myself up 'cause things are messed up

Sunday, August 17, 2008

tired ><"

Today is such a tired day ! Before carrying on, pictures from before that I was too lazy to upload them .







Above are pictures of the green bean paste jolene brought to school to share with us ! I ate like 10 of it . In the end I felt like puking . Overdose i guess .

Back to the main topic ! TODAY !

Woke up at 7am . Feeling like I am going to die any second . Met up with weiqin for hotcakes breakfast ! I think I am the only non-kid that eat hotcakes :P I LOVE HOTCAKES ! Then met up with xue er and jolene for economics seminar at singapore polytechnic .

Shocking thing
number one : I don't understand at all
number two : You can don't pay and go in
number three : I saw my secondary school friend elise !
number four : The quotes used are so cool !
numebr five : Saw ash there ( apparently he bought the ticket from shun yu -.- waste of money ! )

After the seminar went to eat BAKED RICE IN PASTA MANIA ! ROCKED ! Oh . I ate chocolate mousse too . Again :X Its nice . I would encourage everyone to try it . Jas was angry because I said that we would not be eating outside . SORRY ! =X

Then we went to woodlands library . Déjà vu !

I was searching for the author that i liked . Couldn't remeber the title of the books I've read by her . Then suddenly a title popped out in my head . The Devil's right hand . So I went to search for it . After finding it, I realised that I've never seen the book before . The title just came into my head . And poof . It was right . Scary yeah ! Anyways I promote this sequel to everyone . Its by Lilth SaintCrow . The books are in this sequence - Working for the devil, Dead Man Rising, The Devil's Right Hand, Saint City Sinners and To Hell And Back . Great book . Managed to borrow the first 3 and the fifth one . Hope that I would manage to borrow the fourth one soon .

Then we looked for a place to study . Found long john silvers empty . Halfway, jolene went home . The others continued . Then after that SHOPPING !

I realised I bought a lot of stuff these few days . Got to start saving ..



Black and red socks, Red shoelaces, Black pantyhose, Black and pink rings, Voodo handphone keychain, Nail sticker, Black and pink tiled belt . And also a white sweater seen below . Bought it from Giordano . Cost 49 bucks . Expensive but nice :P



Credits to jaslyn's phone .

Let me see . Did I miss out anything . Ate mos burger for dinner and I went home . Quite happy today because of SHOPPING ! Oh yeahs . People . Help me decide if I should buy a hotpink jacket from kappa which costs 79 bucks or musical notes jacket costing 24 bucks . There's 2 colours for musical notes . Red or Black . Do me a favor by helping me choose ! Choose the one suited for me ! Not the colour you prefer . Because it might not suit me . Musical jacket picture can be found here : http://www.th-shoppingstop.blogspot.com/ while the hotpink one is plain .

And .. lets see . Oh . I love this song !



AeroSmith - Don't Wanna Miss A Thing

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
Far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
'Cause I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
I don't wanna miss a thing

credits : http://www.lyrics007.com/

too much confused feelings ..
i hope i can figure them out soon

Saturday, August 16, 2008

broken promises ..

Sense the irony ..
The older one gets,the more promises one makes and the more one breaks.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
just realised that i missed out a lot of details while blogging these few days . had too much on my mind or either i can't think straight .

firstly weiqin sang " this is love " on thursday after maths revision program . or should i say after the second jamming auditions . and here's the video of salizan's band performing . sorry for the " not full length " because my handphone went short on memory ! which was really depressing for me . at least they were memories :D

weird . somehow the video can't be uploaded ! -.- darn ! forget it .. shall upload it next time then .

well next . uh . what was i going to type . well forget it ! i can't remember anything now . shall talk about today instead . bought A LOT OF STUFF ! was going crazy . bought a belt, knitted shirt, nail stickers :P, and black leggings . jas bought a belt too . hahas . we were going everywhere searching for rings . we ended up looking like a pair of les or something . lols . oh yeahs . the giordano girl who served me was hot . i mean her eyes was dam nice . hahas . i wished i was a guy for like that moment . ok . not only that moment i guess because i was wishing that i m a guy for the next few moments when i was looking for jackets and all . guy's jackets and shoes are so nice ! ahh ~! UNFAIR ! =X

hm . today was kind of weird because tuition ended really fast . quite tired now . walked a lot today to find canvas shoes because my mum demanded them . " YOU BETTER BUY BACK CANVAS SHOES I TELL YOU " . well .. but i didn't get it . nor did i get my jacket .. i wanted a hooded jacket .. or hotpink one :P

i still remember on friday i asked jolene if i should buy light pink or hotpink one . she was like don't buy hotpink because you won't dare to wear it out . i was thinking that i already wore a bright red tie out already . what could be worse ? hotpink jacket ? no way ..

ok . going to sleep now . have to wake up early for econs seminar tomorrow :D

i doubt anyone notice but when im feeling depressed or stressed or even sad in any way . i would start to become high and crazy . guess its just a fake front ..

i hope this smile would be plastered on my face forever ..

ahh ! HOT DAY !

TODAY IS A FREAKING HOT DAY !

went out early in the morning to meet mdm ang candice and wen jia to set up our dance stall at nee soon south ! was late in the end because we went to the wrong cc ! ><" ! blur kids !

sold quite a lot of our handmade stuff . so sad that the clips i made were sold out T_T my heart clips ~ i was thinking of buying them if no one buys them ! then in the end ... i was looking through our stock and i realised IT WAS GONE ! i was panicking like crazy . heard from candice it was sold out . wen jia consoled me saying thats good what ! people appreciate your art lehs . haix ~~ still sad about it .

lalala ~ okays . nothing to talk about already . dam hot . thats all i can repeat like 5000 times ? i lost all my gained calories today ! -_-" oh yeahs . my dad say i lost weight . so happy . cassandra said i lost weight too ! and i just measured . I DID ! woots ! so happy x.x

okay okay . got to go bathe and meet jas for tuition soon :D have a great day people ^^

i love this song .. long time since i heard it :D

Kiss - Because I Am A Girl
Dodeche ar suga obso namjadurui maum
wonhar ten onjego da juni ije tonande
ironjog choumirago nonun thugbyorhadanun
gu marur midosso negen hengbogiosso

I just cant understand the hearts of men
they tell you they want you and then they leave you
this is the first time, you're special
I believed those words and I was so happy


marur haji guresso nega shirhojyoda go
nunchiga obnun nan nur bochegiman hesso
norur yoghamyonsodo manhi guriurgoya
sarangi jonbuin nanun yojainika

you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but I couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although I will curse you I'll still miss you
since I am a girl, to whom love is everything



modungor swibge da jumyon gumbang shirhjungnenunge
namjara durosso thollin mar gathjin anha
dashinun sogji anhuri maum mogo bojiman
todashi sarange munojinunge yoja ya

i heard that if you give up things too easily
to a man, he will get bored with you
i don't think this is wrong
a girl says that she will never be fooled again
but she will fall in love again

marur haji guresso nega shirhojyodago
nunchiga obnun nan nur boche giman hesso
norur yoghamyonsodo manhi guriurgoya
sarangi jonbuin nanun yojainika

you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but I couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although I will curse you I'll still miss you
since I am a girl, to whom love is everything


[narration] Onur urin heojyosso budi hengbogharago
noboda johun sarammannagir barandago
nodo darun namjarang togathe nar saranghanda go marhanten onjego
sorjighi na nega jar doenungo shirho
naboda yepun yoja manna hengboghage jar sarmyon otohge
guroda nar jongmar ijoborimyon otohge
nan irohge himdunde himduro juggenunde
ajigdo nor nomu saranghanunde

[narration]
Hey babe
the pain
it's not enough to describe how i feel
we were so happy together
but I know now
I've been blind
you told me that you'd never let me down
whenever I needed you you'd always be here
I can forgive but I cant forget
even though you hurt me
I still love you
I still love you



sarangur wihesoramyon modun da har su inun
yojaui chaghan bonnungur iyong hajinun marajwo
hanyojaro theona sarangbadgo sanunge
irohge himdurgo oryourjur mollasso

don't take advantage of a girl's willingness to do anything for love
and her caring instinct
i didn't know that to be born as a girl and to be loved was so hard
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything


Narration (Guy, only in the music video)
There's someone I'm in love with...
Although I can't be with her now...
I'm still in love with her...

credits : http://linuxct.blogspot.com/2005/01/kiss-because-im-girl-korean-lyrics-and.html

contradiction..
has it always been like this ?