flying free ..

Today during gp lecture, we did this comprehension exercise . In the text, they talked about courage . What is real courage and all . And how true it is . Makes me laugh somehow . How funny that whatever the author said was so true . Somehow it makes me feel so awkward inside . And I'm sure that everyone feels the same way deep inside too .

Courage . Just what is it ? Whatever it is . I'm sure I lacked too much of it . Always trying to run away from things that would be risky . Things that I'm unsure of the outcome . Lacking the strength to carry on . To be the person who you truly are inside . Is it even possible ?

Often, I won't deny that I feel way too insecure . I would never do things that is risky . Never do stuff that I have no idea what the ending is . No way . And I would seldom do stuff that are against the flow . Why ? The strength to be who I am . Is it that difficult ? What is it that I fear ? Even if I've figured it out .. Why can't I stand up against it ? And why I need someone to be there for me .. Why do I feel like I'm stranded alone in the dark ? 

Fake . I've mentioned this many times already . Always feeling like I'm doing stuff for a motive . Finally, I've found the answers to this question in the text today . A boring text it may seem to some people but it has enlightened me in many ways . Being unable to fit into society is one of the deepest fears of not only me, but often everyone . Even if you deny, you would realise one day that everyone is actually the same . And we all lack the same old thing . Courage . 

More often, you would find yourself doing things that you don't like but just because you want to go with the flow, just because you don't want to be the odd one out . Doing things just because of the way other people look at you . Is it dumb ? To me, yes . And I've finally realised that . What's the point of not showing who you really are ? What's the point of acting to be nice when you're actually not . Trying so hard to set up an impression that other people wants . On one hand, you want to fit in but on the other, you don't have the strength to move on like this .

I guess I should be myself . Be who I really am even though people oppose of it . I should stop acting like I'm really interested in something when I'm not . Stop doing all these kind of superficial stuff . Because in the end, there's no point and I don't want to lose myself anymore .. Not being able to feel myself feels terrible . Putting up a front, acting all nice . It just ain't me . In the end, I don't even recognize the girl in the mirror anymore .

Love and accept yourself . Who you really are . Stop going with the flow just because you're afraid . Speak up for yourself because no one is going to except yourself . And perhaps at that time, you would realise that you're actually not that different from others . You have no need at all .. to act like you're someone else just to fit .. into the crowd .

Lastly, a song that I really love . Sang this song during choir in secondary school ! :DD

The flute solo in front . GOSH . I LOVEEEE IT !! :DD

Flying free ( The one below is not in english )

Flying free ( This one is .. But I can't find the one with flute in front ): )

There is a place I call my own
Where I can stand by the sea
And look beyond the things I've known
And dream that I might be free

Like a bird above the trees
Gliding gently on the breeze
I wish that all my life I'd be
Without a care and flying free

But life is not a distant sky
Without a cloud, without rain
And I can never hope that I
Can travel on without pain

Time goes swiftly on it's way
All too soon we've lost today
I cannot wait for skies of blue
Or dream so long
That life is blue

Altos: So life's a song that I must sing, a gift of love I must share
Sopranos: so lifes a song, a gift of life I must share

Altos: And when I see the joy it brings, my spirits soar through the air
Sopranos: and when I see, my spirits soar through the air

All: Liek that bird up in the sky, life has taught me how to fly

For now I know I can be
And now my heart is flying free
Oooooo...

I'm weak
it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending