Crimson blood stained the first snow in ages. Memories created from the past decade were still vividly in my mind, unable to be forgotten. The previous winter was cold, in fact, freezing.
This winter, brightly lighted stars furnished the city with warmth. Yet somehow, my heart was as cold as the weather. Was it like this from the beginning? Or have something happened ..?

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went to school early today to do project work . as usual the guys were late . have society evolved till the point where girls are expected to wait for guys ? i don't get it seriously . i wonder what they are really thinking . im already tired of nagging and all . sometimes i ponder over this matter, wondering if there is a need to even get frustrated over this kind of minor issue which should not even have happened from the start . i hate people that are late for important stuff, these actions should not even be tolerated .

after project work did some computing . was feeling too restless so gave up on it and waited for jolene to complete her . then we went to have lunch togther in northpoint's foodcourt . we discovered this new stall . they had dishes that were really creative and refreshing . it appealed to us, especially jolene so she went to try out some of their food . she bought rice with cheese on top with the thought that it would be something like baked rice . but somehow it didn't turn out to be as good as expected as the cheese was too little . hence the cheese's fragrance was not tasted at all .

then went home . took a nap . and went to meet jaslyn before tuition . ate baked rice in pasta mania . i love the baked rice there . totally crazy over it . im super addicted to baked rice now . in my opinion its better than the other western restuarants around . oh . i tried out chocolate mousse too . the serving was kind of small but its really nice . jaslyn and chee wee complimented it too . try it out sometime (:

went for tuition . our teacher started on a new topic, oscillation . it was kind of .. boring i guess . ain't really interested in physics anymore .

after that i went home ..

been thinking a lot lately . regretting about the choice i made which is to take up science stream . i have always thought that i was just lucky during o levels thats why i got better for languages than my maths and science . but after so much tests and all . i am really sure that im too weak in all of these . my mind is too slow in reacting . it really stresses me out a lot . sometimes when i look around, i realised that everyone can do the questions easily without any help . yet im getting stuck at every question and is getting help from friends around me . really sorry for bothering them . but i just can't do it .

all these stress were adding up . yesterday during ptm i just couldn't hold back any longer when my mum was talking to mr phang . guess i was too weak and all . im so tired suddenly . im not really made for jc education . i guess i just can't take the stress . i doubt anyone can understand how i feel . of being stranded at the back while others are moving on without any difficulty while im struggling so hard to even make sure i don't get single digits for tests .

it just goes over and over again ..
it just builds higher and higher . gets heavier and heavier . then when i can't take it, it would just make me fall ..

i need someone there, i guess .. ?