today went to study with wei qin and melvin at woodlands civic centre mac . actually agreed to meet at library in the end no seats so went to mac instead . since i went out eyes have been hurting like crazy . i think there's something wrong with the contact lens . threw it away already . thanks jolene for helping me buy thumb drive :D
my studying became more of slacking . melvin was like shooting me trying to get wei qin to the dark side and all . hahas . but it was fun . im really kind of tired these few days . had to say melvin and wei qin got me out of the emotional stress and i really laughed out loud . hahas . we were like crapping so much . he said that he spent a day in hell yesterday . had a speech competition . well .. i can only say its already over so don't think about it anymore . next time would be a better experience :D
oh yeahs . talking about speech, it reminded me of the raffles guy in pre-u seminar . he blew us off with his incredible oral skills . in the end everyone was like taking photos with him and all . it was so funny ..
oh yeahs . melvin is like so lame la ! he tried to dump this ugly happy meal monster freak into my bag hoping that i would not notice . but of course i found out when i was leaving x.x i always have this habit of checking that all my stuff was in my bag before leaving and i found out about that ugly monster . hahas .. wei qin was like brainwashed by him la ! going over to the dark side already .. lols ..
after that went to find dar .. slacked around bishan .
then went to find jaslyn .. then ate baked rice in swensens ! xDD hehe . rocks sia ! <33 ! so long never eat le . then went for tuition .
after tuition jas went to buy a drink in mac . the guy dam lame la . asked her if she wanted chilli of ketchup x.x lols .. i think they are really bored . lols ..
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i seriously believe that to love someone you have to accept them . accept . easy as it sounds .. it means to accept everything of that person . flaws and all . yet sometimes you find it really difficult to even tolerate things that are coming your way . it doesn't only apply to your boy or girlfriends but also your family members, your friends .. your buddies !
you have to learn to accept them . learn to appreciate whatever they have done . not always pick on all their faults . and even worse . to compare . whats the point ? in chinese there's this idiom where it says that if you keep comparing with other people, you will only get angry in the end . i agree with this . i mean . comparing is good . it gives you motivation to work hard and stuff but not until you feel that you don't even have space to breathe .
i feel that i ain't even practising what i preach . all those crap about not being depressed and move on . im staying at the same spot . staying at the same point . trying hard not to struggle . trying to even take a step forward . this is crap . total crap ..
im like so tired of everything lately . i don't have the energy to care . im already struggling with my own life yet im putting in so much effort into other people's life when at the end of the day i ask myself what the hell im doing .
im not like this . i have never been like this . im tired . sick of .. all of these bullshit and crap . sometimes i just feel like being alone . like in the past . alone . away from everyone . where i can just be free . no matter what i do . i don't need to answer to anyone .
why am i thinking so much of other people . i feel that im such a pathetic idiot . i was strong . what happened to the past me ? what happened to the girl who did not even care about her surroundings . though she was always alone in the past, she would never get involved with other stuff around her . anything that was didn't concern her she just let it pass . she wouldn't even be bothered .
till now . she changed . she wanted to be near everyone else . she didn't want to be alone . she wanted a life which involves everyone else . she wanted to care and be concerned . yet now she realised that she can't take it .. in the end she asks herself " why did i even care so much .. " she's regretting everything ..
you have to learn to accept them . learn to appreciate whatever they have done . not always pick on all their faults . and even worse . to compare . whats the point ? in chinese there's this idiom where it says that if you keep comparing with other people, you will only get angry in the end . i agree with this . i mean . comparing is good . it gives you motivation to work hard and stuff but not until you feel that you don't even have space to breathe .
i feel that i ain't even practising what i preach . all those crap about not being depressed and move on . im staying at the same spot . staying at the same point . trying hard not to struggle . trying to even take a step forward . this is crap . total crap ..
im like so tired of everything lately . i don't have the energy to care . im already struggling with my own life yet im putting in so much effort into other people's life when at the end of the day i ask myself what the hell im doing .
im not like this . i have never been like this . im tired . sick of .. all of these bullshit and crap . sometimes i just feel like being alone . like in the past . alone . away from everyone . where i can just be free . no matter what i do . i don't need to answer to anyone .
why am i thinking so much of other people . i feel that im such a pathetic idiot . i was strong . what happened to the past me ? what happened to the girl who did not even care about her surroundings . though she was always alone in the past, she would never get involved with other stuff around her . anything that was didn't concern her she just let it pass . she wouldn't even be bothered .
till now . she changed . she wanted to be near everyone else . she didn't want to be alone . she wanted a life which involves everyone else . she wanted to care and be concerned . yet now she realised that she can't take it .. in the end she asks herself " why did i even care so much .. " she's regretting everything ..
im tired . don't wana hold on . don't wana care . just leave me alone ..
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