A place where I just don't fit in .. and it's getting so hard to get away or even move on .

To me, there's no point pretending to be someone you aren't because in the end, you'll only get tired and give up eventually so what's the point ? In the end, it always come down to what I really believe in . It's okay if you don't agree but don't try to change my mind over this : Never change yourself for others . Change because you yourself want it .

A picture speaks a thousand words and an action speaks a million . Whatever you do shows a lot about you even all the minor stuff . Sometimes I wonder if I'm thinking too much or maybe it's my fault for observing others around me . Maybe I should just shut myself up and then I'll be fine .

It's dumb, it's idiotic and lame . You know it, but you still do it . Why ? Simple . Because you want to . There's no reason for anything in this world that is 100% accurate . Even when you say you're 100% a guy or girl, i question you by saying are your hormones entirely female or male ? 

I said I'm trying but sometimes I wonder if I'm even doing it . Perhaps its all a talk without action thing but who really knows ? No one can see effort and effort does not equal to results . And even if you don't put in effort there might be results .

I said a million times already . And I'm already sick of it myself but this time I want to give up . I think I need someone to help me but what if in the end I'm just making use of the person ? It's really hilarious looking at myself like this . People moving on and yet you're still left there . And who's there to help you up and push you on ? Yourself . 

I've always thought that it's not I don't want to give up . it's I CAN'T and today after thinking, maybe it's myself after all ..

those words that you say,

those actions that you display,

i could decipher so much meanings from them,

every thing just seems to hurt a lot more,

but why can't i just give up ?

it's not anyone's fault after all ..

because it's only mine .

SOLELY mine