rain outside my window pouring down . now its too late to turn it around ..

seriously stressed up today . first time being so tensed up . couldn't focus at all during "just for u " program . it was so bad . i was feeling nauseated and all . went to toilet wanting to get it all out . in the end it was tears and more tears .

i really can't take it anymore . i feel like im breaking apart . not just stress . everything is just adding up together . im trying so hard to look at the positive side of things . instead i just end up feeling worse .

i have a feeling i would break down soon .. gave up during the program . went to have dinner with the rest . at first i thought it was just because i was too famished for the day . hence the nauseated feeling . but after i ate it was still the same . was feeling bad all the way till i went home .

jolene says its stress . weiqin says its hunger .

all these accumulated tension would lead to depression soon . i feel so tensed up till i have difficulty breathing . i can't even control my tears . nearly cried many times in school .

well . forget it . i guess someone would never be there anymore to make me feel all better ..

your indifference is killing me