Sunday, August 31, 2008

a sign of weakness ..

Tears .
To me, they are a sign of weakness .
Lately, all it takes is just one word or a statement. I can't believe it myself . In the past, even if I'm watching movies that really touches your heart, none of these would get out . Now, over minor things its easily out .
I don't understand myself . I guess its more difficult to understand yourself than others . You've been yourself for the past 17 years yet what do you really know about yourself except your own likes and dislikes ?
Nothing I guess .
I don't even know my talents and I doubt I even have them .

My temper has been really short . Or should I say I have been becoming more emotional . And I hate it . I don't really know what has caused this change or maybe its me who is running away from it . Away from the source when deep inside I know what is causing this .

you mean a lot to me . too much till it is more than myself . even a single word from you could make me feel instant sadness or evolve into instant pain . or maybe its me who is becoming weak and not being able to tolerate anything now . so easily I can tear . so weak . so helpless .
i have no idea why i've been saying all those hurtful comments that hurt myself more than you . once it gets out i regret immediately but i know its too late .
many times i wish you would just care more for me . talk to me more and don't keep yourself away from me . i wonder if you've noticed that by building a barrier around yourself, it makes me feel that i'm still not good enough for you .

or maybe i would never be good enough for you ..

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Another video from teacher's day performance ..

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