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iloveyou (: but understanding each other is important . Hence, I shall wait and let time do its work (:
Today, I've learnt a lot in life . Not in school . Not those kind of learning but instead life long lessons . Thanks to Linglan, Jaslyn, Weiqin and some unknown person that doesn't wish to be named, I've changed my views about most things .
I've come to this realization that in life, the most important thing is to stay happy while doing whatever you're doing . When you start to do too much or put in too much effort in something, it would go haywire .
I've realised that I've been trying too hard in the wrong way of my relationship and hence everything was going down . I guess I never did say anything . But I guess I would blog it out right now .
I would have to say that its a mistake from the start of my relationship . It wasn't in the " wrong person " way but instead, we aren't ready yet . It seems that we don't even know each other well and we plunged into it and hence hurting myself and the other party as we went along . On the way, I kept all my thoughts to myself and never letting anyone else know . Not even my friends that were close to me .
And hence, little by little all these added up and I couldn't control anymore . Hence I started going on the wrong track I guess . Its kind of hilarious right now when I look back at myself just in the morning before I realised all of these things . I've tried to change myself so that I would match the interests of the other party . In the end I've caused myself to be really tired and throw ridiculous tantrums that weren't meant to be . Resulting in so much conflicts in between and of course tears .
Being yourself is important . For what if I change myself ? Would then it be a happy relationship with true feelings ? For if I change myself, the person he loves won't be me but who I yearn to be so that I could meet the expectations of being the "ideal" girlfriend . But of course things won't that easy, its difficult to change for yourself let alone for someone . Things weren't meant to be this way . In life, I guess we are supposed to loved for who we are and not who the person imagine us to be because there would be of no sense .
In the process of changing myself to meet the expectations of an "ideal" girlfriend, I lost myself . Trying to change for the better is good but when you've pushed yourself too hard, it would all fall in the wrong direction and all efforts are wasted . Till now I've suddenly realised, all the efforts that I've put in to change myself, I could have instead try to know him better .
Now that we are undergoing this "break" . I guess it would show how much we are for each other . If we are for each other, love will find a way isn't it ? Now its time to instead focus on promotional exams that are approaching . No point harping on issues that would hurt myself so much and then in the end distract myself from studies which is the main priority of a student . Because this period of time, would be instead used for knowing him better, knowing myself better and trying to get used to each other .
No more moving too fast . We don't even know each other well and let alone say love . These overwhelming emotions might be only of a moment of folly, because more often than not, it would end up without a fairytale ending . Save all the tears and instead move on . Let nature take take its course . And deep inside I believe that if we are meant to be ..
love will find a way (:
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