*this might make no sense to you . but oh well . sorry yeah*

say them out loud ... ?

so many . none the right one .

i ain't practising what i preach .

believe in yourself . like its so easy to look at the bright side and have confidence .

i was shut out i guess .

confused ?

not really huh ..

can't feel it .

and the gaze casted upon .

disappointment ? 

pain ? 

over and over again .

contradictions .

ironic .

misunderstandings ?

questions .

unanswered .

three .. two .. one .. im counting to the end of my limit .

struggling isn't a choice anymore .

surviving is another issue .

what's the suspense for ?

was it already planned ?

destiny and fate don't work the same way ?

why think so much ?

why even bother ?

why hold on on something ?

its not worth it .

i've heard a million times .

hope was thrown away .

its not that much anyways .

maybe it was an illusion .

unrequited .

correct person, wrong time ?

denial .

HAPPY HALLOWEEN ! TRICK OR TREAT ?

Trick or Treat ?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUTHU ! :DD ! Now lets take a look at the birthday's boy cake ! (:

The fingers below are not supposed to be there ! What happened ?! Omg . Today is halloween .. Not that much of a coincidence .. No way . Of course not . 'Cause that's YangJie's fingers . LOL :X

Nice picture yeah ! Duh ~! Its my camera :X

Muthu picking up the pieces . LOL . After he blew out the candles, the chocolate pieces flew like all over the table x.x Scary :P

Muthu cutting the cake (: I hope that the wishes he made today would come true ..

XueEr helping everyone to cut the cake ! But the thing is , she's a bad cutter :X Okay . Sorry for the weird english . Can't find any word for it . When she cut the cake, it just doesn't go all the way into the middle you see :X

Mr Ho ! Told him to pose . He don't want -.- 

Above . Whacked by cake . Waste cake ! :X I would rather eat it :X Heh ~!

Today had a long break because there was no PE ! Sad . Couldn't play basketball too . There were A levels so we couldn't disturb them . So went out for Macdonald breakfast . Long time since I ate hotcakes ! But the breakfast I'm really craving for is BurgerKing's ! Jiaying ! When are we eating it :X LOL . 

Craziness . We could laugh so much on the way there, during it and also on the way back . We were splashed by milo in Macdonalds . HanWee got so depressed because he was wearing the uniform . Then he had this aura all over him . So hilarious . Then I was telling them I could imagine YangJie's bright and cheerful aura trying to conquer HanWee's dark aura of depression . When the children who made the mess came over to apologize, YangJie said it was okay . After they went over, HanWee commented " Only you okay . I not okay . " Then we said " You want to fight back arhs ? Go la . LOL " Then he gave that blank face and continued eating his breakfast . Sometimes I really don't know what some people are thinking . He doesn't seem angry . But feels angry . What am I saying -.- I mean . He looks like he's angry but the feeling is that he's just playing around .

Tomorrow going to Jolene's house (:

Congratz to Joyce . She won the tickets to K-Pop concert on 4Nov . Actually I wasn't really interested in it . Now I'm influenced by Jas and Joyce for it . A little interest in going . Hope I get to win the tickets . Little chance left now . Whee ~! Listening to KARA's songs on 96.3fm .

Audition got back all the korean songs . Darn . The point is I'm trying to download it . Failure ! Ass . I WANT TO PLAY . I miss all the korean songs man . I have to get it back ! Ahh ~ Now downloading using torrent . Please please ~! Oh oh ! Mirrotic by Dbsk . Sorry for the randomness :X Listening to 96.3fm .

Well . Time to sleep . Of course the laptop is left on for AUDITION . I'm crazy . Tried mapling yesterday . Lagged like hell . Wanted to return to A-world but its kind of impossible with the INCREDIBLE lagginess . I still have A-Cash . Guess I'm going to use it for what I bought it for . Audition . LOL .

Lastly, I LOVE DONG BANG SHIN KI ! :X

its not going to happen . right now, its all filled up . and ... its just impossible.

i choose to be alone .. always .

*Pardon me for whatever crude words you see*

Whatever man . I'm tired . I wonder why this year is the worst year ever for me . Freaking hell (:

Seems like every time something goes wrong i'm blamed . I know that you all care for your friends . It's not like they are not my friends . I hate this . Its not like I don't have feelings either . One by one . This year just sucked . Ass off . Hellos ? Its not like I don't have my own life to worry about . I'm not someone you can just vent your fustrations on .

I'm sick of all these idiotic comments made by you guys just because you all are worried about your friends . And in the end "sorry" doesn't help at all . If you would be sorry afterwards, why even do it in the first place ?

The point is, this is not the first time . Overprotection goes no where . 

Probably its not the person's fault . Its just that .. it reminded me of something that I didn't want to remember . I'm not going to apologize because I can't say I'm not angry at that . 

Stuff that I don't want to remember .. Things that I've never said .

You don't know anything . Freaking hell . There's so much I didn't tell you . And you always think you're right ..

its a one way route down .. to HELL

Chinese suck . Seriously . Forget about the A . It be good that I can even get a C . But what's the point of even getting a C ? Unless you get A, the cert is just something useless . Whatever man . Composition was crap . I always did the last question . Because its the only one that is not narrative . And hell . Its some difficult one this time . Did question 2 . Bet the story sucked . I only did these kind of questions once . During comprehension, I was dozing off . Too tired . I can even read the passage halfway and fall alseep . This is way cool . Why can't we retake it ? But what's the point too . Its not like I would do better .

Didn't want to go home today after Chinese A levels . Its not like I have anything to do at home . Wanted to watch High School Musical 3 but no one wanted . So oh well forget it man . When people finally replied, I'm already at home . I hate going out when I'm already at home . Especially when there is school tomorrow . I feel insecure to go out if there is school the next day . I think I'm going crazy . Darn . Forget it okay .

Tomorrow is an entirely new timetable . Have H1 in the morning . Heard from others we are getting back our papers . Another whatever again . Mis-interpreted the question that time . 15 marks flew away . I'm so tired of my own careless mistakes . To think that I tried my best to read every question's letter and even the space between the lines .

I don't even know why I'm feeling so fustrated right now . Or maybe I know why . I'm just avoiding it . What a coward . Any more I would spout expletives already . 

its self-inflicted pain . every inch of it ..

ramblings ..

Okays . Here I am .. Well . What to type ? What have been weighing on my mind lately that I just need to get it off ? Nothing really .. Kind of bored lately . Tomorrow is A levels chinese and I didn't study . Going to find entry proof and sleep early . And hm .. what more ? Well . I have no idea . Shall leave it at this then . Good luck to everyone for chinese A levels tomorrow (:

Ps. I still love vampires and I'm turning into one .

how good can one's memory be ? its not that difficult to give up . i guess its more on the willpower . 

wbiutlifa ..

or isit me again ? haix ..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She snapped her eyes shut and inhaled deeply. Her heart raced. It wasn’t working. She opened her eyes and peered at the scattered photos all over the blue velvet carpet. Their faces twisted in agony and horror. Their eyes were staring at her as if they wanted to be revenged. It was a torment to even look at them. She peeled herself away from the sofa and stared out of the windows, deep in thought.

                Lina could feel the warmth of the sun on her eyelids. She sighed silently. Even with her eyes closed, she could imagine the entire day in school. Everyday was the same. Going to school meant having to sit through those boring lessons and then coming home to do those never ending chores. Then the whole process would continue again when she goes to bed at night.

No. She did not hate the school. It was in fact, the best thing she could ever have to get away from her house. An empty vessel that has totally no warmth in it. She would rather spend the day in school even though there would be no one speaking to her.

                Taking her time, she stretched out her hands. Her muscles snapped taut, unable to even move. This is weird. She tried to open her eyes. Her eyelids seemed too heavy for her to lift. Her pulse raced. What is happening. She gasped in fear trying to open her eyes. Giving up, she tried all she could to listen to her surroundings. Soft, but she could hear murmurs. She squinted, wanting to hear what they were discussing.

                “Yes. There’s not much hope for left. Her body won’t respond to the machines. Its getting weaker as time goes by. I think you all should be prepared for it. At this rate, her body would only last for a few days. There’s no way she would regain conscious with such injuries ..” The unfamiliar, cold voice drifted out of her mind. What is happening? I’m supposed to be in bed, waking up to the same old familiar cycle. Who is this voice I don’t recognize? She tried to think. The voice seemed to be on repeat mode, over and over again. No. I’m already awake. They can’t end my life.

                “Perhaps he is right Jac . We should grant her soul freedom. Even if we persist, her body is too frail. And we both know that it is not going to …” No. That voice. It was familiar alright, but still not enough to figure out who he is. No way. How can they do this to me? That few words surged her willpower. I have to move. She struggled against the tension in her muscles. She moved an inch which felt like she had just ran a hundred kilometer marathon.

                “Doctor, did you see that! She moved! She’s still alive.” She heard the voice exclaimed. Heavy footsteps pounded. She felt cold slender fingers on her eyelids. Exhausted, she tried her best to remain conscious but she was defeated and hence drifting back to darkness.

Clique surprise ! LOVES ! XD

"Hellos eng hwee arhs ~ Can open your door ? " Joyce whispered through the phone . 

I was laughing when I opened the door . Then they shocked me with an indian song because today was deepavali ! LOL . They started singing Muneru Valiba then remixed into Happy Birthday song . So cute . They planned it beforehand . Was laughing like crazy xD Then they were shaking the balloons like crazy . Colourful balloons, beautiful smiles and good vocals (:

Came in messed up my entire house ! LOL . Threw the balloons around starting shouting like crazy . Singing the Happy Birthday song in english at first, then chinese and moved on to malay . So cute xD

Check out the chord version of Happy Birthday song . Actually there was a remix version before . But didn't manage to video it in time . Was pretty cool . And they planned it like last minute . So cute xD 

The birthday cake that they baked . Proudly brought to you by Joyce, Sharine and YuanXi . Joyce was complaining that Mindy didn't help at all . And when she arrived in Joyce's house yesterday, she was asking them if that was the fifth attempt ! LOL . So hilarious . The cake was chocolate . And I had to say its really good . Knowing that I hate strawberry, they made sure the entire thing was chocolate . Really good attempt . You can leave the baking skills to Joyce (: Yuan Xi was praised by Joyce because he did a good job stirring the ingredients . I'm sure Sharine had talent in baking too since she can cook xD

The top picture shows our "dessert" . Apparently they bought too much chocolate for the frosting so they brought this for us to eat together .

We chilled out . Talking about stuff . They shoved me my present and wanted me to take a look at it only in the storeroom . So when I went in they were laughing and asked me to get out . A penguin water dispenser machine ! :P To people who don't know, I self-declared myself a penguin like .. a million years ago . Can't remember when . But since, I couldn't get rid of it . But I love penguins ! So I'm proud to have that as a nickname (:

Oh yeahs . Careless Yiling left the price tag on . Nono . I didn't see the price tag . I didn't . I didn't . She snatched it from me and peeled it out . I try to forget the price okays :P

Then we hanged out in my room . Mindy looking at us .

The others hovering around my laptop . All of them engrossed in Nazreen blog . They were laughing like crazy . Shouldn't say why . Heh . Ask me some other time okay :P

After that we went to the website Hotel626 which most of the people know now . Joyce was complaining that its so lame and its not as scary as it sounds . YuanXi, Sharine and me were really interested . While Yiling and Mindy were trying to get themselves distracted by singing christian songs . They were singing louder and louder . Then I told them that they were more scary than the website :P

Below is Joyce reading Stephanie Meyer's fifth book's draft . Sad sad . Well ~

Then we started scaring each other . Mad . We made so much noise . Lucky my parents weren't at home . I told them that they were scaring my neighbors . LOL . They said that they would go and apologize . Hehe . 

They started talking about Yiling being scared of everything . Furry stuff, balloons and also horror flicks . I took my really huge bear and scared the freak out of her . She was shouting at " Take that weird thing away from me " . Hurt the bear's feelings :P She was the first one that said it grossed her out . Everyone said that it was cute . Oh well . Its cute to me too :X We started to talk about the time when we watched "Alone" at SunPlaza . Yiling was smsing because she didn't want to watch it . While me on the otherhand was so relaxed, eating ice cream in one hand and the other hand taking chips . And also placing my legs on the chair in front . Then my slippers dropped :P So in the end was searching for it in the dark cinema . But the point is . There's no people watching in SunPlaza . Only us . Thats why its really good . I remembered that we made so much noise that the cleaner came in and asked " Party arhs ? " . We were laughing like mad :P

After much chaos, they went home (: Thanks for coming guys !

Below is a picture of the present ZhiPeng gave me . Thanks ! xD

The penguin water dispenser . Cute yeah ! xDD hehe ~

Oh  . In the middle, Yiling and Joyce were "arguing " . So hilarious .

During the stay here, Sharine and me were using balloons to hit each other's heads . Missed the fun we had when we were in secondary school ><" Missed them a lot . So glad that they came :P Hehe . 

Oh . And I realised I'm taller than Yiling already ! LOL . Woots :X Still have a lot photos with Sharine . Shall get from her and post next time .

For now I shall go off . Continue reading my manga .

Guys . I love ya ! Thanks for making my day ! Sad that Jiaying didn't come today :( Oh well . Never mind . Guess she's busy . 

Smile people ! 'Cause you all make my day the most ! :D

Thanks people . I love ya lots (:

First of all, thanks people (: I had a really fun day today. Well . To people who are lost, apparently today at approximately 2.10pm, a group of people streamed through my door . I can't say its a group . Because the group is HUGE . At first I was really glad that most people came, then in the end, I got a shock because it seemed like it was endless . People continue flooding in for so long . Let me count how many people are there . Sorry if I missed out your name (:

WeiQin, Jolene, XueEr, Jeannette, Jaslyn, Jennifer, Shannon, MingSheng, YangJie, CheeWee, Zhi Peng, ShunYu, Melvin, Kenneth . 15 people ! Gosh . Thats enough to crowd my small little house .

I was so shocked, and suddenly the temperature rised . It was really warm . Heh . Then Melvin was carrying this huge box which contained my birthday cake . Jolene said its an expensive cake from coffee bean . When I opened up, it was a cake baked by them ! Touched (: Though it looks kind of weird and I can't really figure out the words at first, its great . It tastes good to . Nicer than expected . Great job guys . Filled with love ! xD

Oh yeahs . Before they came, WeiQin called me and told me to make space because there are 100 people coming . Asked me to knock down the walls . I told her to provide me with a bulldozer . And she said to use my hands ! Because I always knock into the walls in my house with my hands and get blue black all over ><" Oh well . Blehs :P

The cake part was kind of . Omg omg . Because there were so many cake crumbs all over the floor . I couldn't stand dirt seriously . I started eewing around :X Squeaky cleaned up the mess . Nice pet I have here :P hehe ~ Melvin and WeiQin also helped . Thanks . Though I wasn't trying to ask you guys to clean it ><"

Shall upload the photos of the cake later when I grab hold of it from XueEr .

After that, some people went to play Dota . Addicts man ! :X Some played mahjong and the rest watched a movie !

Shannon, CheeWee, MingSheng, ZhiPeng and XueEr . Hardcore mahjong players :X Throughout the entire game, CheeWee was repeating the sentence " Shannon . Show me what you have ! " LOL . I wanted to shout at him " Eh . Be more creative can ? " :X

YangJie was Dota-ing . He was pestering me for a mouse so I told him to take Jeannette . LOL :P He was like completely lamed by me .

The rest watched the movie " Music and Lyrics " . A great movie I would say . I especially loved the part when the guy played the piano and sang his heart out . That was really touching . The lyrics to "Way back into love" was really touching . It tugged my heartstrings . Loved it (: We were laughing at Cora's parts . Hilarious . And the part where she changed the song . So funny ! The movie is really good . Glad I get to watch it today xD

After watching movie, played heart attack with Jolene, Jeannette, Jaslyn, WeiQin, Melvin and YangJie . So it goes like this, everyone get a slip of paper with a number in it . And we ain't supposed to open it . So the person who won heart attack would be the "King" or "Queen" . And this person have the right to ask people to "entertain" him or her. Melvin was on a roll today . Nope . Not getting the King . But instead the one being "sabo-ed" . LOL . 

The first time, WeiQin and him are supposed to confess their mutual feelings to each other . The second time, he was the girl . And Jaslyn had to propose to him . But Jas's proposal was so sweet . Jealous ! :X She said " Not having you is like chocolate without tiramisu " . LOL . Because we were eating tiramisu chocolate at that time . So sweet :P Is someone jealous ~ ? :P The third time, me and him had to go to the other group playing cards and tell them " Don't you ever take the fan again " . Then YangJie would steal the fan away . The fourth time was when he had to chase Jeannette around a chair . Here it is :P

The next one was WeiQin and Jolene having to dance the ever famous "bollywood dance" around my fan in place of a coconut tree :P

This is YangJie . His part was to tell the other group, " burn in hell" then snatch the fan back because it was so warm ! I think its because there are so many people ! ><"

Below is Melvin shouting out saying " I am Melvin Leong Wei Kang and I have diabetes . " He took a lot of courage to shout that out . LOL . Then my brother said that it wasn't good enough . Requested that he do it again .

This time, he shouted a lot of other stuff . Try to catch it :P If you can't, ask me what he's shouting okay . Its really funny ! :X

In between, YangJie was supposed to say a pick up line to me . Nearly puked :X LOL . Jolene gave him an idea . But I've heard that before . He was like suddenly serious . Because Jolene say cannot make her feel that you're insulting her arhs ! Then he was like serious . Then he say " EngHwee, would you go to the bakery with me ? Because I want to find another cutie pie like you" Then I was fake puking . So weird . The deep and serious voice doesn't suit him . LOL . Then Melvin came in and shoot me with the machine gun . Said he understand how difficult it is to say that to me ! So mean :X No wonder he was so "lucky" today :P

This part is when WeiQin and him had to go up to my brother, show their biceps and say, check out our matching pipes . LOL . After that my brother pushed him down the hill . WeiQin was spared and Melvin was "sabo-ed" into doing more stuff :X Check out the following videos . Poor Melvin . You're the star in my post today . You be famous . LOL . One video shows YangJie and ShunYu being dragged down and had to be the pole for his pole dance .

After that, they left ><" Suddenly it was so quiet . But I really enjoyed today xD Thanks guys for making your public holiday free and come celebrate it with me . I hope that you guys had fun today because I really did . Love ya guys a lot . 

Lastly, thanks for your gifts ! :D

First up is WeiQin's self made shoes ! I mean the design ! :X Nice ! But I think that the butterfly one is nicer . She thinks that this one is nicer . Both are nice ! :D Thanks for the shirts too (:

Jas's cute penguin keychain and pink card ! xD Thanks for the Kbox treat too ! (: Love ya always Ai Qi ! LOL :P

The card that made . I love the design . And the class photo (: Love ya guys . The creativity there . Loved it a lot ! :D Thanks ~ !

Next is ShunYu's "card" . Nice ! I think it kinda looks like me too . Good effort there ! :D

Thanks Linglan for the treat yesterday too ! I love it . 

Thanks for the cake !

Thanks to my maid for the flowers . She folded them using stuff that I wanted to throw away because I thought there weren't a use for them . Thanks for making effort (:

Guys thanks a lot . And I want to make a point that you don't have to spend a lot of money on my birthday gifts . Those heart felt gifts that you all made really touched me (: 

Thanks for making me feel that I'm part of your lives . I hope that I won't be a passerby only but someone there for ya when you need me . Someone that doesn't need to make a huge impact on your life but someone that made you feel that you are part of my life too . Thanks for caring for me when I need help . Thanks for everything you guys gave me . Thanks for being able to tolerate my flaws and also appreciate me as one . Thanks for making this year a great year . Thanks . And please don't leave my life no matter what . I want to be your friend always (:

Love ya people . Thanks a lot (:

This new year ahead, I would make sure it would be a more fruitful year . And make sure I cherish every second of it (:

It ain't money that buy people's hearts . Its the willingness to sacrifice time and effort . The yearning to love and care for someone that buys people over (:

Sweet Seventeen (: Tanjoubi omedetou

Firstly, HAPPY SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD TO MYSELF ! XD I'm OLD ! I want to stop time now . Let me become a vampire and stay 17 years old forever . Where is Edward Cullen ~ ? :X

And next up . What everyone is looking for . Fastest fingers first ! I counted in all the smses and also msn wishes . So here's the list . Don't be sad if you're not the first . Its the thought that count right ? But I have a feeling you guys want to know who's the first :P Here goes . *Some have the same second, but different ms . So the most left is the earliest at that second*

1. Shannon, Ronald, QIN AI DE HUA SHENG aka AI QI aka JAS ! - 00:00 am

4. Lanyuan Laopa and My dad ! - 00.02 am * Is this fate ? LOL *

6. JiaKiang - 00.06 am

7. WeiQin - 00.11 am

8. Sher - 00.13 am

9. MingSheng - 00.18 am

10. Jiaying and Astrini 00.19 - am

12. MingGui - 00.27 am

13. ZhiWei - 01.20 am

14. ShunYu - 01.22 am

15. Kelvin - 01.33 am * You better cherish this period before its your birthday ! Then you're older than me again ! Muahaha :X *

16. Marcus - 02.05 am *What sia . Few days only okays . You xiao di di :X*

17. DanDan - 09.11 am *Gummies unite ! :P*

18. Cs - 09.14 am

19. Cassandra - 09.32 am

20. Siang - 10.29 am

21. JessicaLek - 11.06 am

22. Sharine - 11.20 am *Froggy froggy ~~ *

23. RenZhi - 1.47 pm

24. KangWei - 3.54 pm

*This list would be updated until my birthday is over (: *

Thanks to all these nocturnal animals ! Oops . I mean great friends :X Heh . Okay well .. And to LanYuan Laopa, you might not be the first . But it doesn't matter . Thanks ! (: YOU STILL OWE ME A 5 SMS LONG BIRTHDAY MESSAGE :X Heh ~

Next, what happened today ! I meant yesterday ! x_x Forgot that its already past midnight . And you know what ? I completely forgot that I have I&R to complete . So its like I'm-so-dead-but-I-don't-really-care-because-it's-my-birthday mood. I'll do it on tuesday. 

Currently, the class chat is flooded with Dota maniacs :P

Okay okay . Enough with the digress . Now get back to the main point . Or else its going to end up in a really long post which I doubt anyone would finish reading at all .

On saturday, I met up with LingLan . 1pm at Sembawang mrt . Was late as usual . Got to kick this habit of mine . Shall be my resolution this year . There were lots of policemen patroling around . Wonder why yeah ? Somehow its kind of ironic because you're supposed to feel safer when they are around protecting us guys . But when you see them, you just feel .. insecure . Like something bad is going to happen soon . But the point is that was thinking too much again ! Because nothing happened at all . 

Oh yeahs . Did I mention . There's something wrong with my phone . I can't recieve messages unless I restart my phone . So its pretty idiotic . Got to fix it soon . If not who wants a phone that can only work when I restart it ? Kind of beats the purpose isn't it ?

So we sat all the way to Cityhall and somehow managed to find Max Berner in Esplanade. Now everyone, if you're hungry, please eat before looking at the pictures. If you're full, don't drool . I mean it . LOL . And to all anti-chocolate lovers, just skip all the pictures man ! :X

And before the photos overwhelm you, I LOVE CHOCOLATE ! BITTER ONES ROCK !

Chocolate fondue with fruits, cakes and marshmallows ! The one nearer is .. a sweeter chocolate ? Is this how I describe it ? The one further is DARK CHOCOLATE ! <33>

Oops . Saw the crack ? This shows that the fire is really hot ! Kidding ! I wonder what happened to it . But oh well . You're supposed to look at the food.

Fresh strawberries and bananas !

Cakes and marshmallows !

The entire dish ! Gosh . While typing this post and looking at the photos, I can smell the chocolate suddenly. *Drools*

Linglan ! Look at her smile ! She's trying to control herself . She wants to eat it . Look at her eyes ! :X

Yummy ~ The strawberry is a little sour . But its fresh . Taste great with chocolate that are sweeter .

Marshmallow and banana . Fruits taste better with sweeter chocolate while cakes and marshmallows taste better with the dark one ! :D

We finished eating the food on the plate real fast . In the end ordered another plate of marshmallows because there were still chocolate . It be a real waste to wash it away . Chocolate . Gosh . I can smell it now seriously . Its overwhelming me ~! :X 

I finished every drop of bitter chocolate available while LingLan cleared the sweet one . We decided that we have to go again after promotional results are out . Hoping that it would be to celebrate and not to soothe our demoralized hearts.

After eating, we went to shop ! Love shopping . Plus, the shop "Prints" is really cool . I feel so attracted to it . Once bought a birthday card there . The cards there are simple and nice. Unique too (: The different colours could just make me mesmerized for the entire day . The schedule planner for 09 is out . I love this one that had a cover of shiny hot pink stars . But I didn't like the inside as it has only lines . I wanted a schedule planner that has boxes . If not I would have bought the book ! Plus, I got an inspiration for a birthday gift . See who is lucky enought to recieve it from me ! xD Besides, people who get birthday gifts that are filled with my creativity and effort should cherish it . As my art sucks and I'm such a lazy person . Its really difficult for me to complete a gift without getting distracted several times in the process .

Went to TopShop at MarinaSquare. Saw this really nice sweater . There was no size 12 ! Only 10 and 14 . 14 is too huge for me . 10 is just nice but LingLan advised me to buy something bigger in size as sweaters are meant to be comfortable . When they are big, they are great to wear . So I was really depressed when there ain't any size 12 . I dragged LingLan to the RafflesCity outlet . And thankgoodness, there was a size 12 ! Bought it immediately . But its really expensive . 73 bucks . Gotta scrimp and save when school starts . Maybe have to starve for a few days also .

We started messing with the beanies around ! I love it ! Going to buy one with LingLan . We found out that LingLan have a big head :X So when she wear beanies that are for guys, its just nice . She looks like a Japanese girl when she wears a beanie . Cute ! :D On the other hand, guy's beanies are too big for me . The smaller sizes one was great ! There ain't much of a variety to choose from though . So we decided to go other places to buy it next time . I want a striped one ! And I already thought of clothes to wear it with ! Heh . While we made a ruckus over the beanie, there was this guy looking at us . Trying to suppress his laughter or something . Bet we looked really funny . Going crazy over beanies :X

Well . After that we shopped around . Went to look at sunglasses and all .

Went home after that . We were famished and really tired ! ><" 

Here's a photo of my sweater ! :D Finally stripes . I really love clothes with stripes . Think they are really cool ! Oh . And LingLan agrees with me . Guys who wear clothes like . Uh . Those shirts with an extended sleeve . So cute . I think guys who wear them looks really nice . And guys who wear striped sweaters are real cool ! :P Stripes and long sleeves ! I love them ! Think that guys look good in them too :X

Sorry that its at a weird angle . But I really love it ! xD Plus I really enjoyed myself . Thanks LingLan . Love ya ! Lets go out soon again okays (:

Up next, WeiQin's birthday present for me . Thanks ! I love the butterflies . They are beautiful ! :D

Now , its time to sleep after some massive Dota-ing . Getting better at it I guess . Not that lost anymore . But I have a feeling I'm gona lose interest in it soon . Oh well :P Girls just ain't really interested in games like this isn't it ?

Read Vampire Knight and D GrayMan . Missed out quite a lot . Can't wait for the next chapters . I still have other mangas to catch up with .

Love ya guys . Thanks for all the wishes (:

yawn ..

Today went out for project work meeting . Was late ><" Very late . Sorry guys ! ><"  

National library is a bad place to have meeting :P Distracted by he books around . 

After meeting, ate ice cream ! Tiramisu and dark chocolate . Yummy !

Ate Pasta at food junction in bugis junction . Nice ! Really nice .

When I reached home, played Dota . Thrashed !

Now going to sleep already . Just watched a little of HotShot . Now at episode 10 already . Oh well . Must remember to read VampireKnight . And perhaps also watch VampireKnight Guilty . Gundam 00 second season is good . Looking forward to the next episode .

Short enough post ? XP Stop complaining I have long posts . If this is the kind of post that you want .. then I have nothing to say .

1 2 3 4 5 ..

DOTA ! ><"

Twilight by ~chibi-oneechan

Personally, I love this art piece ! And I really admire this artwork by him/her . This is a anime version of the cast in Twilight . First up with Edward Cullen with an apple . This is really what I've imagined when I was reading the book . His pale skin ! Completely matched . The hair is pretty awesome too . Bella is a little prettier than what I've imagined . But oh well . It doesn't hurt for her to be pretty . Not too pretty and just there . Perfect (: Last one ? I think its Jacob from what I gather . His face . The feeling I get from the guy . It perfectly suits Jacob . The part where he/she tries to link back to the book is great . The apple, flower and ribbon . Gosh . Nice (: Love this to bits !

Yesterday was a great day again (: 

XueEr brought chocolates to school ! I love the one that is chocolate fudge brownie . Maybe because I love that too . Better than the one which is Black Forest . I don't really like the cherries inside . The smell of it makes me feel nauseated . But kinda weird because everyone preferred Black Forest . Guess I really do "stand out in the crowd" huh . Different taste and preference ><" Sad that she didn't buy the tiramisu one . I love tiramisu . Gosh . I'm getting hungry :P

While waiting for Ms Mok to come, XueEr was playing with our school famous cats . LOL . Bet they feel pampered with so many students teachers and also other staff caring for them . She was so cute . Went to treat the cat like a dog . She went up to the cat, bend down and said " Paw " and stretched out her hand . The cat responded by stretching itself . LOL . Guess you just can't treat them equally the same huh . I still love dogs better ><" 

Project work lesson . I was stuck being the timekeeper soley for one reason . My group is the audience for almost all the groups . So in the end, everyone chose me to be the timekeeper -.- Jolene passed me her watch, Jeannette too . So I had three watches . I was trying to imagine the scene when people come and ask me whats the time, and with all the time different, I guess I have to do some calculations . LOL . Count the average huh . But XueEr's watch is the accurate one because all of ours were faster by 2minutes :P

Selling watches ~ All real goods . 5 bucks each . LOL . First one on the left, is owned by Jolene . Casio watch . Second one from the left is mine . Casio Baby-G watch . The one below mine is XueEr's Adidas watch . The one beside is Jeannette's Everlast watch . Farmiliar ? The one we gave her on her birthday :DD Glad that she's wearing it . Or it would have gone to waste ><" And I calculated . If I sell these watches at 5 bucks each and if everyone of them are sold out, we would have made a lost of about 400 bucks . See ! My hands are so expensive yesterday :X 

After break was maths lecture . MingSheng skipped the entire thing of it . YangJie started vandalising my worksheet . Then moved on to MingSheng's . So hilarious . He's crazy . Fascinated over liquid paper . Using it to vandalise other people's worksheets .

After maths lecture, went to play basketball . Everyone's shooting was off . The ball was too slippery and it was so difficult to even hold the ball properly at first . Its like when you catch it, it just slips out of your fingers . No matter how tight you hold the ball, you just lose to the rain . After 15 minutes, everyone got used to the ball . Their shooting got better . My shooting was still way off . So much way off ><" Got more and more demoralized . In the end, finally got in some shots . But I guess they were just lucky because I didn't really aim accurately . The ball is just too slippery .

Then went to the canteen because XueEr and Jeannette needed to do their chinese composition . Ate apple ! (: Heh . Been eating a lot of apples recently ><" XueEr was so hilarious . We took our bags at the benches and wanted to go to the canteen . Then XueEr saw a skirt . She asked around and thought that it was hers so she placed it inside her bag . Then when she reached the canteen and opened her bag, she realised there were 2 skirts inside . Just when she took one out, she realised it wasn't a skirt . Its someone's else pants . So hilarious . She was so embarassed .

Anyways . Take a look at this ! XueEr used 3 sheets of different foolscap paper for chinese .

The last one is Jeannette's . Obviously -.- CHIJ .

After that went for chinese . MingSheng was teaching me dota using YeowKeng's laptop . Ms Luo wasn't here again . Hope she's recovering . He taught me so much stuff that I can't reallly remember .

Yesterday night . Had my first match of Dota . They were trying to teach me the most basic survival skill . LOL . No hp, RUN ! I kept forgeting to look at my hp level . Then in the end keep dying ><" First match died 6 times . But I think its so little because no one is allowed to kill me . Of course there were mistakes but its so x.x ! ><" Ah . Complicating . Still haven't really got the objective of the game yet . The information is overwhelming me . And yeah . Ker was surfing around and found me in the game . Fated huh . Hilarious . 

Oh well . Shall learn more later from YangJie and MingSheng . Must get better . I'm so noob now ! ><" Everyone know I'm playing Dota all want to help me . Gosh . But its spreading the news that I'm so noob and come and thrash me . LOL . But its quite fun :P

Okays . Watching HotShot . 

Midnight Sun rocks anyways ! :DDD LOVE IT ! Ahh ~ Please continue the book please T_T

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How do you not cry when you feel sad ?

How do you not think too much, blame yourself too much until people around you start to feel uneasy ?

How do you hate someone ?

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They say that dreams would never happen in real life . They are total opposites . Should I be happy or sad ? I'm tired of these nightmares every night . There ain't any vampires, ain't any monsters . But it freaks me out more than anything could ..

Check this out ! LOVE JAS ! LOL xDD

Laughter (:

Today was quite a fun day I guessed (:

Went to school as usual . Kind of woke up early so was reading Midnight Sun draft . Ahh ! Why ain't it going to be published ? It rocked ! Always, we have only read it from Bella's point of view, a human . But in Midnight Sun, the view from a vampire, Edward Cullen . Its so fascinating how he felt . Those puzzling actions he had when he first saw Bella was better explained in this 5th book to be . Now its all gone . I really hope that she would continue on for the sake of her supporting fans !

Project work was another disaster :X Because we didn't do our QnA questions, lucky we were the third group she checked on, or we would only have a blank paper to show . During the discussion, YangJie was trying to prove his theory that people who are fat are lazy while the skinny ones are more hardworking . Because my Zinc sling bag has a lot of threads coming out of it I was trying to cut them using MingSheng's nail clipper . In the end I gave up . Then YangJie shot me with that statement . So I retorted asking him to do it since he's SKINNY . He wanted to give up but beside him I kept saying "You're skinny ~" So he continued on till it was finished then started complaining about the idiotic nailclipper . LOL .

MingSheng was trying to form Transformers with our erasers . At first he broke the "spine" of my eraser, then after that he started to staple my eraser . YangJie commented that my eraser is now a Frankestein . I was like noooo ! Stop stapling it . Its feeling pain . And starting whacking MingSheng . On the other hand, he doesn't care and continues on . Wanting to staple its "butt" .  I complained saying that it would feel pain . He retorted that humans have shots on their butt too . " THATS TOO BIG OF A NEEDLE ! " Then he started laughing and stopped stapling . But after that when I was not noticing, he stapled it still ._. So much for saving my eraser huh . Then he started to convert my eraser and YangJie's into a transformer form . And also added his together .

He described YangJie's eraser as underweight, his as healthy and mine as fat . Nice one huh . LOL .

After that was break ! Ate HorFun . XueEr didn't finish her chicken complaining that it was difficult to cut . Jeannette was offering to help her . But she rejected the offer . Pretty hilarious at the sight of her trying her best to cut it . Then Jeannette started to comment that its grossing her out . LOL . Oh yeahs . At first she thought that the chicken was spicy, but after testing it for her, it was ketchup after all x.x Lots of it . After that took out my box of Kueh Lapis ! I don't really like it now . But I don't hate it either . Mum wanted me to bring to school to share with my friends . CheeWee was so happy . I think he loved it . Jolene too was happy over it . CheeWee was insulting me again . Asked me if it was baked by me . When I answered no, he safely took it . LOL . I nearly whacked him man ! :X

Then was slacking time ! Had nothing to do . Went to library . While Jolene was printing Jennifer's card . I was reading National Geographic . The issue I read was about Netherlands . Cool . The females last time were great at hunting with different bone like stucture like modern females now . A lot of comparison was done . Quite interesting . Now guys . Stop complaining ! Females last time had a protruding forehead, wide cheekbones, sunken eyes and thick underlips and also no chins ! So cherish us okays :X Heh :P

Went down to the benches . Found CheeWee and MingSheng sitting there . Started to do Jennifer's card . Asked MingSheng to find YeowKeng and act as if he was passing by . So we could borrow his PSP :X Hehe ~ The game is fun . But so difficult ! Yeow Keng IS SO GOOD AT IT ! O2 Jam too . Complete disaster for me . Scary . Jeannette as usual was the artist for Jennifer's card while Jolene provided the idea and me for the design . Somehow it sucks to have the thing for design but I don't have the art talent to do it . It was the same for WeiQin's present . I thought of the design, but when I tried to do it, sucked like crap . I mean the lines were just not nice enough but when Jeannette did it . It was really good . Oh well . Next time I shall sell my designs :X LOL ! So Jolene came up with this gift voucher idea. Quite interesting . Wanted to apply to WeiQin's present too last time . But in the end I was too engrossed in the board that I've forgotten all about it . Who would remember when it was 3am in the morning and you are still doing the board yeah ? ><"

The card was fine . Added some heart shapes to it . Made it look more attractive and all . Guess it was an okay job . But could have done better ><" Oh well . 

Physics lecture was fine I guess . Kind of bored . Jolene was forcing Jeannifer to stand and accept our card and gift voucher . And the gift voucher is from "Jojo company " :X Cute yeah . By XueEr . LOL . Cute :D Jennifer was like nooo noo . I don't want to stand . But after much pressuring, she gave up and stood up . Jolene gets her way xD Determination ! Rest of the physics lecture I spent it frozen . Was really cold . I guess my flu still haven't recovered yet . If I try to trace back, I think I'm already sick for months ! 

Forgot to mention . During project work lesson, YangJie and MingSheng were introducing me into their world of gaming . Dota . I asked them to introduce me to it . Wanted to know whats the appeal factor of it and why so many people are crazy over it . Should at least try once and find out . MingSheng and YangJie made it sound really interesting . YangJie is lending me the game tomorrow . So I shall install it and try for once, the game that made so many guys addicted to it .

Chinese lesson, Ms Luo didn't come again . Had another teacher . She's the teacher that teaches CLB . Guess she has no lessons now so she helped Ms Luo to take over for our lesson . Did composition . Kept borrowing correction tape from ShunYu that he told me to leave it there and he shall share with JiaKiang :X Heh . Sorry ! Thanks though ! :P Dragging CheeWee down as he was sitting beside me . Asked him lots of words :X Kept asking him . Those easy words too . But he was patient and helped me . Wrote so many words all over his paper . LOL . I wonder what Ms Luo would say when she marked it . Then CheeWee would have a chance to shoot my chinese ! ><"

After chinese lesson, met up with Jolene, XueEr and Jeannette . Made our way to northpoint to get a gift for Jennifer after her Cambodia meeting . Shouldn't blog too much details out as its still a present in progress :P While we were in Popular, YangJie made us laugh like crazy . Made me wanted to puke because I laughed too much :P

Jeannette passed me a bear . Laughed and asked me to take a look at it . I was puzzled and asked her what was wrong . I couldn't figure it out at all . Its a really cute bear . But I couldn't see what she was pointing at . Then she blurt that " It only has one hand ! " . Then I just realised that it had only one hand . Quite sad for such a cute bear to have one hand ><" Below is a picture of it . I'm sure no one would have realised just by looking at te picture =/

YangJie asked me for the price of it . $9 plus . He said that there should be a discount because the bear is a crippled . All of us bursted into laughter . Jeannette was laughing so hard that her tears nearly came out .

Then YangJie started to do some really funny stuff . Stuffed a bear into the cow's stomach . It was supposed to be the zip for a tissue box . But he stucked it in . I was laughing like mad . While taking picture of it, I couldn't stand properly . When they were getting the bear out, I was like saying "push push " . Congrats . Its a boy . LOL .

Laughed a lot today . Was a fun day . Below is a picture to end off the day . Jolene with XueEr's bag . Guess only XueEr look good in her bag . She's tall enough . The bag is huge . About 1/3 of Jolene's height . Even when Jeannette tried carrying it, it was a little weird . Great bag there XueEr . Found out that really suits ya (:

Okay . Time for my project work :X

Was playing with MingSheng QQ XuanWu just now . Quite fun . Lots of songs . Found BoA's No. 1 . SuperJunior's U . And lots of new chinese songs lately . There were also english songs that I liked . Happy happy ! After 3 days of struggling finally get to play it . Now its time to work hard for project work !

Peace out (:

May a vampire bite me ! :X

Sorry . I can only choose hating as an option . Besides, you forced me to .

Suddenly, I realised the best way to forget a person is by hating . And seriously, I just can't stand it anymore . Not even friends . Get out of my life . I mean it . You get what you want . You want me to leave you alone ? You get what you want . I can't believe how long I took to understand what my friends around me have been saying . I hate you inside out . I didn't understand what the past me have been thinking .

I hate you for always hurting me and making me cry . No one would hate people they love . I couldn't see that last time could I ?

I hate you for being so self-centered . Don't ask why you couldn't feel my love . Because you feel that the world revolves around you isn't it ? 

I hate you for not being able to understand that I have a curfew and I need to get home early not because I don't want to spend time with you .

I hate you for being so insensitivem not knowing your words have hurt me over and over again and always thinking that I'm the one at fault .

I hate you for always thinking that you're right and I'm wrong .

I hate you for not placing yourself in my shoes .

I hate you for not putting effort into the relationship . Haven't you heard of the saying that you need two hands to clap ? 

I hate you for acting like you care .

I hate you for not forgiving me over some actions that you yourself have made and hurt me a lot with .

I hate you for always asking me to understand you when you didn't even knew I was already trying . You didn't even make a point to understand me . All you wanted was more .

I hate you for not realising that the person who looked down most on me was you .

I hate you for being so insensitive to other people's feelings .

Lastly, I hate you for not accepting me who I am and also not trusting me .

Morning Lameness II

Oops . Here I am again . Maybe I should wake up later instead . If not I would not have so much spare time on my hands . Was reading e-mails and here's for the October Babies (:

OCTOBER=HOTTIE 

Trustworthy and loyal. oO ? I don't know about this ..

Very passionate and dangerous.-.-

Wild at times. I never knew this side of me .

Knows how to have fun.COME ON ! Everyone knows how to have fun :X
Sexy and mysterious. No comments x.x

Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Really ? Somehow I don't feel so .

Playful, but secretive. oO ?

Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Okay . This is freaking true :X

Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Quite sociable if I bother to make friends with them :X

Fearless and independent. Trying to be independant ..

Can hold their own. What's this ?

Stands out in a crowd. Do I ?

Essentially very smart. I hope so with the promotional exam results coming soon ..

Usually, you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind. Ooh . Thanks man ! :X I'm special okay :P

Sunburn and muscle aches !

Tired . So tired right now . Don't even want to move . Sit in my chair all night long then crawl to my bed to sleep when its time .

Today, was a EXERCISING day . Rocked ! Been long since I exercised . I did stretching for dance till promotional exams . After that I didn't exercise at all anymore . So now I'm like a rusty toy waiting to be used again . 

Ms Mok was on medical leave . So we had free periods . Actually we were supposed to do QnA but all the groups have already kind of "done" it . So we had free periods . Being a sporty class, we use our breaks for sports .

At first we tried soccer as we couldn't get any basketball . With YangJie, Jeannette, HanWee and Me in a team and RenZhi,CheeWee, XueEr, ChenHong in another. Thanks to me, we lost like crap . I kept using my hands to touch the ball x.x Its a habit . Its so difficult to not use your hands . And its so difficult to use your legs to control the ball . Running with the ball is the most difficult thing ever ! How do people do that . The soccer elites . They are mad . I can't even kick the ball in the direction I want . Since like my legs are best suited for walking and running :P

Then we joined RenZhi and his friend for basketball . Was quite surprised by my performance today . Managed to get most of the balls in . Normally my shooting sucks . Accuracy zero . But today was a weird day . Potential unleashed ? LOL . Shocked most of the people in class . YangJie commented that " No wonder Eng Hwee wants to play basketball " . XueEr was the star player for the day . Both soccer and basketball . There was only one goal for soccer and it was her who kicked it . Cool .

Then XueEr with her height and good accuracy managed to get a lot of points in basketball . After that we splitted into groups . RenZhi, Ibrahim, Cheewee I think and me in a team . The others were in the other team . Totally thrashed them . RenZhi is crazy . Once the ball is in his hands, he would be sure to score . Anywhere in the court . His 3 pointers are good too . Pretty cool . He was like trying to mimick HotShot moves . LOL . He touched the hoop . But wasn't high enough to slamdunk yet . But its cool ! Ibrahim and Cheewee got into the game after that . Though they were better in soccer, they fared pretty well in basketball . Most of their shots got in . RenZhi conferred me as a "starplayer" too . Wonder why my shots were so accurate . 

Oh yeahs . YangJie surprised us with his 3 points shots . I wonder if its hidden skill or something . They got in . Tried 3 pointers today . Ain't accurate enough . The ball went in the correct path but I used too much strength . So it was always a near one . Pretty sad . Normally the ball would get in . Oh well . HanWee was trying to "impress" with his 3 pointers . Either too much energy was used or too little energy resulting in an air ball . Pretty hilarious . During class he was still telling me that he would shock me with his 3 pointers . So when we played basketball, I was pestering him to show me .

Jolene on the otherhand had fun watching us I guess . Shannon was playing his guitar . After that MingSheng sprained his ankle, so he went to accompany Jolene . In the middle of the game, ChenHong, CheeWee and Shannon got caught for playing without having the correct attire . So had to do pushups . Jeannette was blamed by Ms Lim for not "protecting" her basketball court as she was a basketball member . RenZhi on the otherhand got off the hook as he was not wearing basketball shirt . 

After 3 hours of basketball, we finally admitted defeat and had to rest . Ate apple and 2 packets of vitasoy for break (: Wasn't really hungry . Wonder how people can eat so much after playing so much . Because I would feel really full .

Went for computing class . Sat with PinYe . I missed the times during PAE ! ><" We had so much fun and laughter . I remembered we were so close . The "Yeah" group because of her name . And I was always sabo-ed in because of her . Even the first presentation during General Paper was by us . And last time we kept complaining about our ugly handwriting because we were pressurized by Jeannette and Jennifer's perfect handwritings . Oh . And she's a fan of The Twilight Saga too ! WOOTS . Another friend to discuss it with . We were going crazy talking about it . Wondering how people can read the book so slowly because when we start reading, we CAN'T STOP ! Its that appealing . You're like totally into the story . And when our parents ask us to sleep, we would say yeah . But 1 hour later, we are still reading . The point is we won't stop until the entire book is finished .

She told me that there would be a fifth book ! Midnight Sun . But after googling it on the web, I realised that Breaking Dawn IS the last book because of leak ! Nooo ! Crushed so many people's dreams . Darn . I so wana another book . Now I can only look forward to Twilight the movie coming up during December . Stephanie Meyer has released the fifth version's draft on her website here . 

After lesson, played PSP and did my chinese homework . 

My chinese teacher left early today because she was sick . So we did exercises . A lot of them in fact . Boring . Mdm Ang came in to invigilate us . While we were suffering, her class was watching a movie . "Di Yi Jie" . I SO WANA WATCH IT . I've heard that its quite good . Being a horror and thriller movie fan, I guess I have to catch it someday .

After school, I realised that I had SERIOUS SUNBURNS ! Jeannette's were not that obvious because she's tan . And she didn't stay out in the sun for long . Always taking a break in between . While I played for almost the entire session . Nice sunburn . Mdm Ang thought I was sick or something . Then we played basketball in the rain . Sahira went to get her basketball . Played 5 on 5 . Was quite tired . Didn't bother to even run around . We played full court . So I just stayed at the opponent's scoring area and block them . Lazy to move around :X Too tired from the 3 hours of basketball in the morning .

Now, I'm reading the fifth draft . Its about Edward Cullen's life when Bella appeared . Really nice . Actually this post was going to be longer . But I can't stand the temptation any longer . Have to read it . So .. Ciao .

And the game I was downloading is this .

http://x5.qq.com/

Interested ? Download it and play with me yeah (: Tag me anytime .

Peace out (:

Blogging is a way of expressing myself . Sharing my thoughts with everyone . I type blog posts because I want to express myself and not want others to read it . Its more for the I want to type it purpose . And being the person I am, I find it difficult to talk to others about my problems . Blogging is the only way I can let it all out .

And using the word "open" might not be the best word to describe it because all these are just a gauge . Its different for everyone . Everyone is different in their own way . You might feel that this is too "exposing" but to me, its a good way to let out my emotions (: