Hopes . What are they ?

Its like falling down a pit but the only thing is that it would never end . Its just an abyss . People around saying that they are feeling what you are feeling . It should help right ? Somehow .. I know deep inside that we are different . Its totally different . Everyone says that they would get really poor scores and some crap . So what . When it comes out . Its always different . There's a difference between you and me . Because you are just so much better and I'm just barely even there . I can't even do anything right . Kind of crap yeahs . Though they have the same sentiments as me for the paper . They just have more substance . They have more things in their brain . And whatever that comes out . I know I'm going to be the one suffering and not them . 

The point is its not that I didn't put in effort . It just doesn't come out yeah ? Now I'm asking why didn't I go to a poly . I ain't a JC material from the start . Whats the point of making me waste a year then go poly after that ? I'm not going to make it . How can I compete in the working world ? This is totally absurd . 16 years ago till now . I've never met up with this kind of ridiculous problem . Its freaking dumb idiotic .

First my life was already crushed . "Hang on .. I felt that before too .. It crushed me . Hence I don't want it to affect you and end up like me too " . Lied again yeah ? Because its crushing me too . Whatever you said . You were so right . I think I'm going to end up whatever you have went through . Now its getting worse with my academics being pulled in .. Hopes aren't there are they ? They are just something that are meant to disappoint you further . Disappointment you like nothing .

Yeah . Even jf I scold anything now . All of these are just crap because I know everything is my fault ..